The parish entrusted to me as pastor is fortunate to be blessed with three permanent deacons. Two were formed here, integrated into the community during their formation period, and a third, more experienced deacon joined this year.

Don’t think I hold the position of trainer; quite the opposite. It is due to my precarious health and physical limitations that Monsignor Cristau, Bishop of Terrassa, deemed it appropriate to assist me in my responsibility of serving a parish of almost twenty thousand inhabitants with this support.

In general we can say that there is a fraternal atmosphere, that work is progressing well, and that the parish would be diminished without them.

From the joy of celebrating to the joy of serving

That doesn’t mean tensions don’t arise. Especially at the end of the year, due to fatigue and after liturgically complex celebrations, where details are important and, at the same time, easily marred by minor imperfections. Liturgical acts test the mettle and skill of the pastors. In my case, I can tell you that after thirty-eight years of priesthood, if I had to take an exam as a celebrant like a driver’s license, I’d still be practicing to get my license.

Furthermore, to speak of errors as if it were a tragedy is an offense to persecuted Christians who risk their lives to live their faith. The tragedy lies not in liturgical errors, but in those places where the Passion of the crucified Jesus has been lived out with blood and death, especially our Christian brothers and sisters in war zones. We have seen how the Holy Sepulchre was sealed. Instead of removing the stone, they added another.

What the deacons miss is not being able to experience the liturgy without organizational worries.

For example, incense is a solemn gesture, but when the embers from the blessed fire on Easter night are reserved in the censer, if the censer isn’t stirred and aerated with rhythmic movements, but rather left still, the embers will be extinguished by the time the Gospel is read. Don’t panic. Incense is burned without smoke. To give just one example.

The liturgy, as the language of the divine, requires gestures, symbols, words, spaces, and melodies that must be harmoniously combined, like a symphony. A mistake causes unease among the celebrant and the assistants, who, faced with the unexpected, experience stage fright that paralyzes the proceedings, forcing them to resort to improvised solutions.

Going from being a spectator to an actor and “suffering” through the development of the ceremony creates discomfort and a feeling of failure.

The celebrant and the ministers are servants of the mystery of salvation offered to the people. Focusing more on the people than on the rubrics helps us to live the ministry as a service.

Family

Another aspect of the diaconate that puts a strain on one’s vocation is the desire to replace the priest. In our case, the parish priest’s health has meant that the deacons have taken on both celebrations and pastoral responsibilities within the parish: catechesis, Caritas, the youth center, formation, and so on. First of all, not everything can be compartmentalized, as if they were separate areas. In a parish, everything is interconnected. The parish priest, like a father, is responsible for and guides the entire community. His mission and vision are holistic. He attends to and directs the community. He is concerned about everything, even matters that are not strictly pastoral but are nonetheless necessary, such as finances. The deacon collaborates as needed, but he does not bear the entire responsibility for the parish, or for the religious services in a hospital, for example.

Priestly celibacy differs from diaconal celibacy. The priest has the Church as his bride, acting in the person of Christ. The married deacon has a wife, the mother of his children, with whom he shares the responsibility for the family.

How often does the deacon find himself in the position of having to choose between going with the family for the weekend or Easter holidays or leaving the family alone at the holiday destination?

While the priest and parish priest organizes his life with the community he leads in mind, the deacon cannot and should not do the same, since there are other people involved. He is a husband and father.

The parishioners, accustomed to the exclusive dedication of the priest, want to equate the deacon with the priest.

Economy

Another unresolved issue is that of finances. In most dioceses, deacons serving the community do not receive any financial compensation.

It is assumed that the deacon already has a secular job. Therefore, he does not have to live off the church. The priest, on the other hand, typically has housing, utilities, and other expenses covered by the community. In many cases, he also receives compensation from the diocese equivalent to a salary.

The deacon performs a service that benefits the community financially, yet he receives no payment. The situation is even more serious when he is asked by other parishes to officiate at weddings, funerals, or baptisms. He travels in his own vehicle and receives nothing from the community he is serving. He not only offers his time and dedication but also has to cover his own transportation costs.

All of this leads to the question of what the purpose of a deacon is. A disastrous question, insofar as it presents the diaconal vocation as a means of utility rather than a consecration to the service of the Church.

The mistake often lies in comparing their vocation to that of a priest. They always come out worse, not only because there are sacraments they cannot perform—Anointing of the Sick, Penance, Eucharist—but also because they may appear subordinate to the parish priest and, in the hierarchy, separate from the common people, placing themselves above them. Again, it is a mistake to categorize the Christian vocation received through Baptism.

Since, despite being a figure as old as the apostles, it is relatively new to us and is therefore still in the process of defining its diaconal identity.

This might help reopen the discussion of the female diaconate at the Vatican one day. The objection they raised—that it would be a stepping stone to the priesthood—stems from the fact that the diaconal vocation is still not clearly understood from the priestly vocation.

I will now list the aspects that have improved in my parish with the three deacons.

1. To bring the minister closer to the people, both as a person and as a servant. When presiding over a sacrament or a meeting, a deacon demonstrates the humanity and approachability of the Church. Clericalism, which separates the people from the ministers, makes this separation more difficult with the deacon, who is also a husband, father, or grandfather. Even I, the priest, am made more approachable.

2. They are helping to shift from a church focused on services to a church of communities. A parish should not be a dispenser of sacraments on demand. The schedules and availability of deacons lead us to approach pastoral care with greater synodality, “walking together.” The parish model as a service provider impoverishes its very mission. A service is received individually, but the community is barely perceived.

Clericalism, combined with a bureaucratic attitude, makes it difficult to foster a sense of community. It’s easier with a deacon.

3. Love for family. We priests tend to distance ourselves from our families, dedicating ourselves to the Church. Contact with the wives and families of deacons has made me reflect a bit on my own family, where relationships weren’t always nurtured.

4. Diaconal Collegiality. It is admirable that deacons gather to celebrate their patron saints, for formation, and for ordinations. When they meet, the topics, in addition to ministerial and pastoral matters, include their families, their work, and especially their parish priests, of whom they generally speak highly. The same is true of priests speaking of their bishops.

5. The contribution of each individual’s unique background, in terms of their training and personality. The diaconate allows for variety and diversity. This greatly enriches the community.

In conclusion, let me clarify that these reflections are personal and do not constitute a pastoral or theological essay—the Church has its doctors of the field. My aim is to stimulate reflection and contribute to the dialogue and definition of the vocation to the permanent diaconate. While in some cases, due to availability, deacons are assuming the responsibilities of parish priests with very positive results, this will not always be the case, nor should it be. The diaconal vocation, rich in nuances, is still not fully embraced, recognized, and valued by either the laity or the priests. It is never a matter of a power struggle, but rather of constant discernment in the Spirit.