Each of us is unique, singular, with special qualities. And our life is, or should be, a struggle to become what we are “called to be .” A hopeful struggle for the best, brimming with joy. If one doesn’t fight, and allows oneself to be defeated by the status quo, one has already lost… 

Hope  is  essential  to keep the soul from growing old. We need  dreams and concrete goals to strive for, and guiding lights to illuminate and direct our path. And this struggle to give our best makes life exciting, because we  never take anything for granted, nor consider things lost. 

When one strives  for noble ideals,  one values ​​things more, and as a result, is content and grateful.  Good deeds  enrich life and make us feel happy. Those  who think of others have something that attracts and inspires,  and we want to emulate them. 

Joy  is closely linked to  optimism and good humor,  and often stems from willing sacrifices for those we love. It’s not so much about having feelings of joy, but rather a habit, an attitude toward life. We can  cultivate it  in small ways, like smiling, seeing the good in a situation, being kind, discovering our talents, thinking of ways to brighten others’ days… In this way, each person becomes optimistic and joyful, by thinking of those around them.   

And so often that happiness is  the result  of a full, meaningful life, of trying  to acquire virtues  that help us become better people. For example, being attentive, kind, empathetic, helpful, generous, hardworking, loyal… and others that I’ll leave to your imagination.

Because true virtues are not sad, burdensome, old-fashioned, or arduous, but rather gently joyful… They are  “strength ,” which is what they mean, on our journey. And joy must be an integral part of that journey. It uplifts, allows us to see life in a positive light, gives energy, and bestows a radiant, attractive personality, capable of loving.

Each person needs that affection to be themselves and to grow.  Love is inherent in their nature : it is what they were created for. And in it, they find happiness, as great humanists have pointed out. In the words of Tomás Melendo,  happiness  is directly proportional to  each person’s capacity to love  , expressed through their actions. Thinking of loved ones is always motivating, joyful, and gives meaning to everything we do and experience.

Something that always helps is having a  transcendent view of life: it provides perspective , even amidst  difficulties, adding depth and vibrancy. The person transcends themselves, and there they find  meaning  and purpose. Because joy is something  profound  that reaches the depths of being, the very essence of the person, even when on the surface there are setbacks, suffering, and sometimes storms…

A great sage once said: every home,  every family,  should be a  haven of peace  where, above all adversity, a deep affection is felt that gives encouragement and security at any age. And it is from this  broader , more nuanced  perspective that life,  intertwined with others, acquires a unique meaning.

Knowing how to see the good  in both people and circumstances  broadens the soul, facilitates personal relationships  , and uplifts us. It makes us good friends: loyal, understanding, and optimistic. This is especially important in  romantic relationships , the foundation of all other relationships.

We need an  optimistic attitude, a willingness to start and start again  , to aim high, to turn the impossible into the possible, and to give our best. And we must take this opportunity to  create a positive atmosphere: for everyone to feel loved,  in concentric circles, starting with those closest to them.   

An author comes to mind,  C.S. Lewis , and  his autobiographical book,  “Belled by Joy , “ which I highly recommend. It recounts his life from childhood, with his brother Warnie, his search for beauty, and how, as an adult, thanks to his friends, he finds that  indescribable joy that heals his heart .  And he  is surprised and “dazzled” by it… as happened to G.K. Chesterton. His life is a relentless pursuit of that longing: joy.  

She suffered a lot in her childhood. Cancer and more cancer…

She speaks of the  serenity  she felt from her mother’s family, who were more steadfast, possessing a deep peace and joy. However, her father’s family was very different:  emotionally volatile , ranging from anger and rage to tenderness… Highly emotional and unpredictable, not easily happy…

His mother died when he was 9 or 10 years old, and all that serenity vanished. He also developed a certain wariness of emotions, with their less controllable fluctuations. And his heart was wounded by so much pain.  He longed for his mother’s joyful and serene affection.  With her passing, stable happiness, quiet joy, and security disappeared from his life. Later, he would have  ” bursts ” of joy ,  as he called them, but not that former serenity that sustained him and brought joy to his life.

And she wondered: how could she find that joy again, feel  those bursts  of emotion once more? She tried to recreate those circumstances… but it was no use. She thought it would be better to look for the cause. She believed that joy would stem from something else, and that was what she had to find. She felt an insatiable longing within her   that wouldn’t leave her. Perhaps that’s where she would find it…

He reflected: “Books or music, in which we think beauty resides, will betray us if we place our trust in them:  beauty wasn’t in them,  it only reached us through them ,  and what reached us was  nostalgia .” He thought: “They are only the scent of a flower we haven’t found, the echo of a melody we haven’t heard…”

Later, in 1926, he met J.R.R. Tolkien at Oxford, and they became good friends. They encouraged each other in their literary endeavors. Within a few years, Lewis, a staunch atheist since his youth, said he began to melt like a snowman in the sun, “falling to his knees” and praying to God. He eventually  converted  to Christianity, partly due to a conversation with friends about  myths .

From these thoughts, he wrote “Mere Christianity,” and later his “Chronicles of Narnia,” while Tolkien developed his legendary work, full of beauty and moving stories. They shared and critiqued each other’s spectacular creative work within the literary group of friends known as  “The Inklings.”  And they found solace from so much suffering around a fireplace…

“It was about getting together around a good fire and exchanging perspectives on a wide variety of topics in gatherings that lasted well into the night, and were very fun, full of sparkling and ingenious ideas,” notes E. Segura in “the magician of words”.

Around that time, he received correspondence from Helen Joy Gresham, a very sensitive and insightful American writer and poet who was intimately familiar with his work. She traveled from New York with her son to meet Lewis in person. They became friends and fell in love. She challenged everything he did, taught him to  rethink things, and broadened his perspectives. And she helped him learn to  love: to open his heart to  others even if it meant suffering; to consider personal experience and feelings. In other words, to allow himself to be loved, even if it meant becoming vulnerable. They married in 1956… 

But soon the pain returns. I tell you about it on my blog in: “Lands of Shadow.” However, despite the suffering, in the midst of it, until the very last moment they enjoyed being together,  closely united , and loving each other… When she dies, more pain, more helplessness, and she reflects on how to reconcile that pain with her Christianity. Pain is never fully understood, but sometimes it offers lessons that can only be learned through experience.

Life’s difficulties, which refine us, are also  ingredients of happiness.  Pain  points to love : the other side of the coin. It hurts because we love, but it always compensates and heals. And it doesn’t destroy that deep joy, with its profound roots.

And  good humor , the complement to joy, helps us not to take ourselves too seriously, to defuse difficult situations,  to soften blows,  or to offer comfort with a joke. A little humility helps us to  be simple, to love,  and to enjoy life.

 The great Viktor Frankl said : “The moment the  patient laughs ,  even if only internally, he has won the game. Because that laughter, like all sense of humor, creates distance, it makes him  distance himself from his neurosis.”

Nothing is ever truly lost… You can always find peace and joy in your heart again. Never  give up!  There is always hope.