The other day, I was asked if we really have to forgive 70 times. That question, far from being numerical, is deeply spiritual. And to fully understand it, we must go back to the source.

Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples, asked him,  “Lord, if my brother sins against me, do I have to forgive up to seven times?”  In that context, saying “seven times” was like saying “many times,” a figure of speech. Just as we might say today, “I’ve eaten Chinese food a thousand times,” without literally meaning a thousand times.

Jesus responds with something even more radical:  “I say to you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” In other words, always forgive. The message is clear: forgiveness has no limits.

But is that possible?

Years ago, in a talk before 4,000 people in Chihuahua, I asked three questions. The first was:  Can everything be forgiven, always?  Approximately 3,500 people said yes. Then I asked: Can adultery and violence be forgiven?  Only about 200 people continued to nod. Finally, I asked:  How many times?  And no one answered.

This is where reality comes in:  it’s not about forgiving anything, infinitely, and unconditionally. What Jesus proposes is not to tolerate evil without consequences, but to open our hearts to true forgiveness, the kind that arises from true repentance.

Because forgiveness isn’t condoning abuse. It’s not justifying 30 adulteries or enduring weekly violence. In certain contexts—marked by ignorance, sin, or a distorted culture—there are those who justify even the unjustifiable.  “That’s just the way I am,” “that’s how God made me,” “I’m passionate,” they say. But that’s not repentance. That’s cynicism.

God forgives everything… but not by force

The same Jesus who spoke of forgiving everything also spoke of hell. How can we understand this? Not because God doesn’t want to forgive, but because there are those who don’t ask for forgiveness. God doesn’t force anyone to love him or enter heaven. Love cannot be obligatory.

Hell is for the unrepentant, not for those who have sinned. Because we all sin. But there’s a huge difference between being wrong and being justified.

Father Fortea said it clearly:  “First comes mercy, then justice.”  When we die, we hope to receive mercy. And if we receive it, then justice will come: reparation, purification, transformation. But there are those who don’t even come close to asking for it.

And in marriage?

If your partner has committed serious mistakes, such as adultery or violence, you are not obligated to endure it indefinitely. But if there is genuine repentance, if there is real change, then forgiveness is possible. A woman once told me,  “After my husband’s adultery, we are a thousand times better off.”  Because he changed, asked for forgiveness, and never let her down again.

That’s repentance. The rest is manipulation.

So, can you forgive 70 times 7?

Yes, when there is sincere repentance and a willingness to change. But if there isn’t, if there isn’t even the intention to repair the damage, forgiveness loses its profound meaning. As Jesus said in the Gospel,  “Depart from me, you cursed one,” to those who didn’t help, didn’t love, didn’t serve. To the indifferent, the cynical.

Therefore, dear reader:

• Don’t do it.

• If you fall, apologize immediately.

• Repair the damage.

• Show with your life that you are sorry.

Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. Forgiveness isn’t allowing abuse.  Forgiveness is giving another chance when there’s real transformation.

Let’s do all the good we can. May God bless you always.