A romantic relationship is never perfect, just like every other aspect of life. But it can always improve, and one particular area of ​​this is the inevitable arguments that arise when living together.

Disquiet is a constant presence in the lives of many couples. Sometimes, people try to resolve it by covering their eyes and blaming the relationship. In most cases, however, they need to recognize that the problem lies within themselves.

Couples need to harmonize many things (characters, habits, decision-making criteria such as work, expenses, child-rearing, division of tasks, projects, etc.). It’s not about suppressing differences, but rather knowing how to harmonize them (like when you play a melody on a piece of music; the notes are there, but you have to know how to play them to make the melody sound). To achieve family peace, it’s necessary to engage in regular dialogue and learn how to argue. Arguments should be personal so that, as far as possible, they don’t spill over to outsiders, and especially so that the children don’t witness them, because it can cause serious harm.

And this… How do you do it? By learning how to say things (what to say, how to say it, and when to say it), but above all, by knowing how to listen, because sometimes it’s more important than speaking, listening lovingly, paying attention, with external and internal silence. It’s important to know our limitations and those of our partner, so as not to ask for more than the other can give, sharing time, knowing that we are different but complementary.

It’s important to learn to say things lovingly and respectfully, to build relationships, to know how to ask for forgiveness and forgive, because forgiveness is a sign of affection. Take the time each person needs. That’s why I like to say that human relationships, including those between couples, always improve with time and showing affection, with those details that only come to light when you truly love someone. Learning to argue and exchange opinions, sometimes opposing ones, means learning to love the person you’re arguing with more and more each day. This facilitates family peace.

Jose María Contreras ([email protected]) hosts a program on Radio María, “Life as It Is,”  which focuses on relationships, family, marriage, and child-rearing. It is available on various platforms. I have selected a program titled “How to Recover Peace in a Relationship?” Among other topics, it analyzes the causes of loss of peace in relationships and suggests remedies.

On the Ivoox  platform   (16 minutes) and on Radio María  (55 minutes)