Very often, parishioners ask the priest, “Father, how do I make a good confession?” Father Ángel Espinosa de los Monteros, in one of his brief and direct talks, answers clearly and with approachability, acknowledging that the topic could fill an entire lecture, but he summarizes it in just a few minutes so that it is accessible to everyone.

The first step, according to the priest, is  to invoke the Holy Spirit  from the moment one prepares: whether in the confessional line or on the way to the parish. “My God, help me to truly see my conscience,” is the key prayer. Many approach only for obvious sins—such as missing Mass the previous Sunday or a specific theft—but they miss the opportunity for a broader examination of the soul. It’s like cleaning a room: if coffee was spilled and a cup broke, that’s cleaned up, but cobwebs are also removed, the closet is tidied, and the bed is made. “Let’s do things a little bit better,” the priest urges.

Once enlightened by the Spirit, he proposes  two simple schemes  for the examination of conscience:

1. The Ten Commandments

It begins with love for God: “Love God above all things” is not an empty formula. It means examining whether we have neglected prayer, whether we are distracted during Mass, whether we talk during it, or whether we have relegated God to a secondary role. Keeping the Sabbath day holy includes not missing Sunday Mass, a grave sin that leaves God relegated. Regarding taking the
Lord’s name in vain, the priest warns against unnecessary oaths or expressions like “I swear to God” in trivial arguments. “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no,’” he reminds us, quoting the Gospel.
Then come the commandments that govern human relationships: honor your father and mother (caring for them, calling them, attending to their needs, with the biblical promise of happiness and a long—even eternal!—life); do not kill, do not steal, do not commit impure acts (including with television or cell phones), do not lie, do not covet your neighbor’s possessions, and do not desire your neighbor’s spouse.
Here he makes a key difference: admiring someone’s beauty (“what a beautiful person God made”) is not a sin, but coveting it in your heart is, as Jesus teaches in the Sermon on the Mount.

2. The five fingers of the hand (a more relational scheme focused on omissions)

• Thumb : relationship with God.
• Index : with the spouse.
• Medium : with the children.
• Annul : with others (in-laws, employees, neighbors).
• Little finger : responsibilities as a Christian towards others.

This is where the issue of omissions comes in: not having killed or stolen is not enough if, through indifference, we have allowed others to suffer hunger, cold, loneliness, or sadness. Remember the corporal and spiritual works of mercy that Jesus mentions in Matthew 25: feeding, giving drink, clothing, visiting… but also comforting, counseling, forgiving. “Hunger is not only for food; there is a hunger for love,” he emphasizes.

The priest summarizes the law in the twofold commandment of love: love of God and love of neighbor. He invites us to a clear goal: “ From this day forward, never again commit a mortal sin ” (grave matter + full knowledge + deliberate consent). Venial sins are unavoidable in daily life, but we must be in “continual purity” through contrition and grace. “Let us do all the good we can.”

It concludes with a message of hope: confession is not just about removing stains, but about living in grace, close to God. “May God always bless you.”

This advice from Father Ángel Espinosa—who has given thousands of talks on spirituality and family—reminds us that confession is an encounter with mercy, not a formality. Preparing well transforms the sacrament into a true spiritual rebirth. If you are willing to follow these steps, the next time you approach the confessional, it will not be just for the “basics,” but for a deep cleansing of the soul. Take heart! God’s grace is always waiting.