My friend Joe passed away two weeks ago. We shared 30 unforgettable years of friendship. I still think of him every day. In addition to my prayers, I dedicate this article to him, which I originally published in the press thinking of him, though I never told him so.

“Something dies in the soul when a friend leaves .” These Sevillanas songs about friendship perfectly reflect the pain felt when a true friend disappears because they pass away or when, for other reasons, friendships break down. My experience is that, if both parties want it,  it’s possible to reconnect with lost friends.

Saint Bernard, to mend broken or nearly broken ties, advises: “When you see something bad in your friend,  do not judge him instantly; on the contrary, try to excuse him in your heart; excuse the intention, think that he did it out of ignorance, by surprise or by misfortune.”

Friendship creates strong bonds of trust and loyalty. For classical thought,  friendship is the quintessential natural human relationship, as it provides the conditions for free and reciprocal interaction . For this reason, it is considered a sine qua non for a happy life. According to Aristotle, friendship is the most necessary thing for life; thus,  “a happy person needs friends.”

A true friend does not abandon you in times of trouble, nor does he betray you; he never speaks ill of his friend nor allows him to be criticized in his absence, for he always defends him . Friendship is sincerity, trust, sharing sorrows and joys, encouraging, comforting, and helping. True friendship is selfless, for it consists more in giving than in receiving; it does not seek personal gain, but the benefit of the friend;  it demands sacrifices, integrity, and the exchange of favors and noble and lawful services.

For true friendship to exist, there must be reciprocity; affection and goodwill must be mutual.  Friendship always tends to grow stronger: it is not corrupted by envy, it is not cooled by suspicion, and it thrives in times of difficulty.  Then, joys and sorrows are shared naturally. How many good friends do you have? Dedicate as much time as each one needs.

Good communication, shared time and endeavors, mutual confidences, growing appreciation, admiration, and respect gradually create strong bonds between true friends that neither distance, silence, nor time can break. There is always a willingness to be there to support, help, and comfort a true friend. And all of this is done selflessly, out of pure generosity that doesn’t stop in the face of hardship.  True friends are those who lift you up when others haven’t even noticed you’ve fallen.

José Miguel Ponce