In the previous parish, with its large marginalized population, the Caritas branch was overwhelmed. Furthermore, it often happened that the parishioners donating food were just as poor as those asking for it. The difference lay in their financial discipline. Some bought milk to donate, while those requesting food aid, with the meager money they received from government assistance, bought superfluous things like tobacco.

It was clear they needed to learn how to manage their finances. To that end, we created the “Solidarity Workshop,” which consisted of a dedicated space with an instructor who helped the participants carry out small assembly tasks using materials provided by local businesses. Each week, they received payment for the work they had done. Sometimes they would bring us small soaps and combs to put in boxes destined for hotels.

This allowed us to get people who had previously only been begging moving, encouraging them to keep to a schedule and develop work habits. The experience enabled some of them to enter the workforce.

But the project’s most valuable contribution was discovering people living on the brink of poverty. Although they were eligible for food assistance, their economic and social circumstances made them too ashamed to stand in line for the poor outside the Cáritas center. However, when the Solidarity Workshop was established, they were provided the opportunity to receive help without having to go through the process of acknowledging their poverty and relying on charity.

This leads us to talk about the new shame-poor. These are the people who, anxiously living in solitude, do not dare to seek alternatives.

For some time now, especially in large cities, it has been perceived that the greatest poverty is the poverty of “companionship.” The final document of the recent synod states, in paragraph 113, “Despite being more connected today than ever before, loneliness and marginalization are often experienced.”

Social media doesn’t contribute to the pursuit of happiness. It’s a false facade of being free from problems and sadness. There’s a kind of need to prove one is happy. An event without a photograph to capture it becomes invisible. Fortunately, there are many gatherings, meals, or trips that can be enjoyed without worrying about taking the picture that will make them famous.

But what would happen if this drive to project how well we’re doing were complemented by the communication of our frustrations? Someone would immediately appear to solve it with magic phrases. You could say we’re denying our emotional needs. That alone marginalizes and isolates. Feeling is forbidden, crying is forbidden, and healing emotional wounds is forbidden.

Just five days ago, during an audience in the  Paul VI Hall  with young people from the dioceses of Rome, Pope Leo X reflected on how digital life can deepen isolation when it is not accompanied by real connections. “A life of ‘links’ without relationship or ‘likes’ without affection disappoints us, because we are made for truth: when it is lacking, we suffer,” he stated.

If there is a shameful poverty, where the lack of resources to lead a dignified life is not acknowledged, there is also a poverty of “family”, of companionship, where loneliness is not recognized.

Loneliness in itself is not harmful. When it is a free choice, it can be accompanied by resources that facilitate relational self-sufficiency.

Often, this temporary loneliness is exacerbated by holidays like Christmas, which intensify the feeling of isolation. This can happen when families have broken up, when they live far away, or when the few remaining relatives have difficulty traveling. It can also occur when younger members of the family decide to take advantage of the holidays to leave the city and miss Christmas family meals. Often, this lack of companionship is suffered in silence and is painful.

I almost forgot about the kind of solitude that’s a form of protest, where you reject invitations to be in company, as if to make a statement. For example: “Why should we get together right at Christmas if we don’t see each other during the year?” It’s an attempt to provoke a kind of punishment or rejection from others. This is what’s called emotional blackmail.

Be that as it may, painful loneliness, or poverty of companionship, is a reality.

This year, the parish has organized Christmas meals open to anyone who wanted them.

The venue, ambiance, and menu were all carefully considered. Everything was prepared as if it were a traditional family Christmas meal. The dishes, drinks, and desserts were all typical.

The food was kept from being “charity” food. The menu price, while not exorbitant, was comparable to a restaurant on a holiday.

The participants were diverse in age and personal circumstances. The point is that everyone felt like family, even though they weren’t. In a way, without trying to replace family, it was possible to experience that sense of companionship.

The idea was promoted that Christmas is the celebration in which Jesus becomes a brother to make us brothers. It wasn’t about coming as a passive subject waiting for others to love me, but rather about encouraging us to be a source of companionship for others.

At first, we tried to break the ice with a role-playing game. A few participants took turns playing the “typical” characters of a caricatured family. The activity was abandoned after a few minutes due to laughter and good humor.

Personal confidences were highly respected. Some people knew each other, others didn’t, but everyone expressed what they wanted. And what they wanted to convey resonated.

Regarding the economic aspect, the menu price remained the same, but accommodations were made for people with limited financial resources. Some of them preferred to contribute by working as servers.

There was a pleasant atmosphere at all the meals, which lasted for several hours with conversation.

Many more people could have benefited, people who didn’t feel capable of acknowledging their loneliness. They continue to perceive their situation as an affliction that must be hidden. They are the new, shame-poor. Although aware of the positive outcome of the “Christmas in Company” campaign, they have expressed their intention to participate next year.

Given the serious problems facing humanity, it might seem absurd that loneliness exists among those without financial worries. But the Gospel is good news for the poor. Poverty can take many forms. The lack of close affection is one of the most profound. A delicacy can be replaced with a piece of bread, but a genuine gesture of affection, as Pope Leo X tells us, is something we suffer when we lack it. And in our lived experience, we have been both givers and receivers of that affection. It wasn’t just about receiving, but about having someone by your side who could receive the affection you need to give. And at Christmas, this need becomes even more acute.

Appendix:

Dynamics Papers.

 Father. You recently had a falling out with your mother-in-law, and you don’t want your single brother-in-law to find out since you work at his company. Besides, things aren’t going very well with your wife. Your son will try to ask you for his bonus, and you have to resist

Teenage son. You’re always waiting for lunch to be over because you’re meeting up with friends. You have to try to be nice to everyone. If you do it well, you’ll get your allowance. If you ask nicely, your mother will support you.

Mother. You have to do it right so everyone tells you they’re delighted with the food. You explain how you did it, showing off as much as possible.

Mother-in-law. You’re the one who wants to fix everything and meddles in everything. You’ll always be telling everyone about your wonderful activities and how far ahead you are compared to your friends.

Brother-in-law. Money, you see everything through the lens of money. You’re the richest person at the table. You love Grandma dearly. But you’re only here out of obligation. You’d be better off on vacation.

Daughter. The pretty girl, who hides  everything. Nobody knows you have a boyfriend. You’ll take advantage of this lunch to tell everyone. The problem is that he’s from a different ethnic group and a poor social class.

The little children. One of them will recite the verse hoping for a tip. The others don’t like many foods.

The other members play whatever role they wish.