The “ConSentido”  campaign    launched by the Spanish Ministry of Equality seems to assume, as a basic principle, that young people must be able to have sex, but free from violence. Therefore, the campaign focuses on the existence, or lack thereof, of   consent , which common sense should dictate. It doesn’t delve into respect, the giving or offering of true love, not the kind of   love that is consumerist or found in supermarkets .

The Madrid-based agency Ogilvy, which designed this campaign, is relying on young people themselves to explain the issue to other young people through a series of videos. As these videos show,   young people are often unable to freely give their consent because they are frequently under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or acting under social pressure. The young people themselves say,  “The kiss is the start of a hormonal whirlwind”  that sweeps you away before you realize it, and in those moments, it’s almost impossible not to lose   self- control   and awareness of your own actions.

I trust young people, I talk to them whenever I can, but I don’t think most of them have enough training, or the necessary maturity, to transmit the beauty of the fullness of love, which involves the donation of one’s whole being to the beloved person, and which is expressed through the offering of one’s own body.

This campaign, about how young people’s sexual relationships should be, focuses on preventing violent acts, just as previous campaigns focused on unwanted consequences, such as pregnancy. However,   none of these campaigns take into account that we were created by  love, for love, to receive love . Therein lies the key to happiness, “to love and be loved,” to which we all aspire. Therefore, the best campaign should focus on   educating for love , on explaining that the true   meaning of sexuality transcends pleasure   , and that to do so,   we need to understand and convey  the meaning of loving with our bodies . Anything else is putting the cart before the horse.

To delve deeper into what it means to love with the body, it’s worth reading  Mikel Gotzon  ‘s   book, ” Knowing How to Love with the Body , “ in which he states: “The only way to know how to properly combine the exercise of freedom with respect for nature is to analyze what that nature is like and understand in depth what we have in our hands .” This statement perfectly captures the urgency of understanding human nature to properly guide our sexuality, in a way analogous to how we strive to understand the workings of a device so that its use aligns with its intended purpose.

It is clear that   we are not born knowing how to love   and that children’s love is a love born of need. Therefore, we must teach them to love, and throughout their lives, they must learn to give themselves to different people in a way that is appropriate for each individual. It is essential to emphasize that they should not be trapped by selfishness, by always seeking their own advantage, since this is the opposite of love and a source of unhappiness. However,   the  task of educating in love is not easy,   because, as   Juan Luis Lorda states,   “The heart is much more difficult to understand than the mind .”

Furthermore,   emotional education is like the prelude to the education of love , because it helps us to love deeply and well. Feelings are important, although they don’t constitute the essence of love. They give color to life, but they shouldn’t become the guide for love. The ideal lies in achieving perfect harmony between intelligence, will, and emotions; their absence can lead to moral relativism. As an illustrative anecdote,   Plato   compared feelings to a cat that must be tamed, even though there’s always the risk of it scratching you.

Affection and love are closely related, although love is linked to the will, as   Alejandro Llano explains:   “To love is a decision, not a feeling; to love is dedication and commitment. To love is a verb, and the fruit of that action is love. Love is like gardening: uproot what is harmful, prepare the soil, sow seeds, be patient, and water. There will be pests, droughts, or excessive rain, but don’t abandon the garden.”  Therefore,   genuine love   doesn’t end ,  but rather is renewed and grows each day by seeking the good of the beloved.

Parents and educators must show young people the pitfalls of love into which they can fall .  A common trap lies in confusing love with pleasure. The goal of love is not pleasure; pleasure is not inherently bad, but it must be subordinated to higher goods. An author whose name I haven’t been able to find says:  “Authentic love, ideal love, soul love, is that which only desires the happiness of the beloved without demanding our own happiness in return.”  If pleasure were to govern our lives, affection would be reduced to mere sensuality.

To avoid falling into   the trap of pleasure , parents should explain to their children the profound   meaning of sexuality,   which doesn’t require having sex to understand it, just as a cardiologist doesn’t need to have a heart attack to treat one.   Separating sexuality from the integrity of the person , as gynecologist   Luis Chiva de Agustín states , leads to utilitarianism or biologism, which in turn leads to considering sex as ” an experience one must have ” or ” a mere biological act .” Both of these perspectives can cause irreparable harm and violate human dignity.

This campaign will further contribute to the   trivialization of sex,   characteristic of a hypersexualized society. In this type of society, sex has become a priority that   distorts reality . While it is true that sexual relations are necessary to guarantee the survival of the species, they are not necessary for the individual existence of the person, as   Ana de Miguel explains in her book ” Sexual Neoliberalism: The Myth of Free Choice .”

My proposal for a new, timely campaign to   educate about love   is based on the reasonable doubt that young people, and even some adults, clearly understand the role that feelings, emotions, commitment, reason, and pleasure play in love. In fact, many young women consent to sexual relations to feel loved, as reflected in the book  ” I Just Want to Be Loved “ by   Micaela Menárguez.

Finally, I ask myself, aren’t parents the best suited to teach their children to love, primarily through their dedication, affection, and care? Or are we really need marketing campaigns that manipulate their children? I’m convinced that   young people need to be presented with lofty ideals and high goals; anything less is to undervalue or belittle them . They want to learn to love and be loved, because only then will they be happy. Let’s help them!