There is an old and wise maxim in the spiritual tradition that reminds us that God, in His design, endowed us with two ears and only one mouth for a purely mathematical reason: so that we might listen twice as much as we speak. However, in the age of screens and digital bombardment, the world suffers from a kind of selective deafness. We all seek the loudspeaker, but almost no one wants to be the receiver.

As Pope Francis pointed out in his message for the World Day of Social Communications,  “we are losing the ability to listen to the person in front of us .” Listening is not simply a biological act or an exercise in courtesy; it is a disposition of the soul, an act of spiritual hospitality, and the first indispensable step for any human dialogue to become a space of encounter and healing.

Listening: The art of making space for others

Saint Augustine, with his characteristic clarity, explained that the words we speak are born first within the heart. But for those words to be fruitful and constructive, it is necessary to cultivate silence beforehand.

Listening attentively is not about passively waiting for the other person to finish speaking so we can launch into our own monologue—what psychology calls a “shared monologue.” Listening, from a Christian perspective, is  an exercise in self-discipline and generosity where we silence our ego to truly receive the reality of our neighbor .

When you truly listen, you perceive not only concepts, but also the longings, wounds, and hopes that underlie the story. This is the model Jesus left us on the road to Emmaus: He, who possessed all the answers, dedicated the journey to questioning the discouraged disciples and acknowledging their concerns before illuminating their reality.

Speaking: The filter of charity and truth

Once the ear has done its job, it is the turn of the word. The apostle James, in his epistle, realistically warns about the dangers of the tongue, describing it as a small member but capable of igniting great fires if not governed with wisdom.

For speech to be truly constructive, the Church proposes the filter of  analytical charity . Saint Thomas Aquinas reminded us that truth without love can become cruel, while love devoid of truth risks falling into sentimentality.

Speaking with depth and a healthy sense of joy humanizes relationships. Words should act like salt: adding flavor and preserving, not stinging open wounds; they should illuminate the path, not dazzle or blind the listener. Positive language doesn’t stem from naive optimism, but from the ability to name difficulties while always opening a window to hope.

Advise: Accompany freedom without supplanting it

The third step in this triad is counsel, considered by the Catechism of the Catholic Church as one of the spiritual works of mercy and, in turn, a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Christian pedagogy teaches a great paradox:  the best counselor is not the one who imposes prefabricated answers, but the one who helps the other to formulate the right questions . Saint Ignatius of Loyola, a master of discernment, suggested that whoever accompanies a soul should not push or condition it, but respect the space for the Creator to act directly with his creature.

Providing constructive guidance requires three fundamental attitudes:

• Humility:  Recognizing that we do not have absolute control over other people’s lives.
• Sacred respect:  Taking off one’s shoes before the conscience of one’s brother, knowing that one is treading on sacred ground.
• Hopeful realism:  Propose viable goals and short steps, avoiding suffocating moralism and always pointing to the greatness to which human beings are called.

A Compass for Everyday Life  : Before your next conversation, try applying this golden rule: minimize distractions, look people in the eye, be receptive, and remember that the person in front of you is a mystery being revealed, not a problem to be solved. Those who learn to listen with their hearts acquire the wisdom to speak with grace and the prudence to offer sound advice.

Ramón Ortiz de Gayena