We all long to feel loved: it’s our deepest desire.  We are created to love and be loved.  Likewise, we seek happiness, but sometimes we look for it where it isn’t…

Romantic love holds within it a secret to happiness. Nurturing and protecting that love is of paramount importance: self-improvement, cherishing the friendship, strengthening the will, developing the capacity to love. Winning authentic love. Something of infinite value, and upon it largely depends on our happiness, or lack thereof.

Falling in love is like a bonfire that ignites and gives a glimpse of the beauty of that love. Something to aim for… using your head, and not just your feelings, which also help to shape and enhance love.

And then you have to “work on it,” nurture it, protect it. Being in love allows you to open yourself up to the “you” of the loved one…: something essential in love, for building it.

To love is to discover the beauty and uniqueness of the other person.  It is to trust, to know that there is much good and beautiful within them struggling to emerge. And it is to give them the opportunity to express it, to encourage them to develop it. To make them see that they are unique, valuable, worthy of attention and affection. Their immeasurable worth, their inner beauty, and the meaning of their life. It is also to express the joy of being by their side, of supporting them, of helping them achieve their full potential, what they are meant to be.

“Love has nothing to do with what you expect to get, only with what you expect to give,” Katharine Hepburn aptly points out.

Genuine love is giving, empathy, intimacy … Which affects all aspects of the person:  not only the body, feelings and emotions, but all the interiority and spirituality.

Affection is very necessary in a couple’s relationship: it helps to grow love and commitment between man and woman, as it allows them to experience the joy of making the other person happy.

And sexuality, created for encounter and personal gifting to the beloved, is a wonderful means at the service of love.  Something that is often forgotten, perhaps due to modern society, which links it to pleasure, to self-satisfaction, to vibrant and fleeting emotions that are “sought” in real time… And that’s not how it works.

It only “fits” in an authentic, committed, and faithful love, forever, between two people who share a common life project and truly seek  the good of the other…  To paraphrase a classic quote, to love is “to be hungry together, not to devour one another”…

Things that build

• Listen, also with your heart, especially to women, because they need to share their inner world, their feelings, in order to connect with him…
• Admire the other person, especially him: they need to feel valued and admired. Important.
• Always apologize, give another chance…, think positively.
• Speak kindly and with a good dose of affection. Otherwise, it will be seen as rejection, and the other person won’t feel loved.
• No irony or bad attitudes, and even less gossip, which destroys mutual love and trust.
• We are all different; we feel and act as women or as men—something obvious that we sometimes forget. We are designed to be different. But differences are not flaws.  We must value them to make the most of them: to work as a team and achieve synergy.
• Always trust each other:  generosity and affection, respecting their own autonomy:  “fly together, and very high, but not tied down.”
• Communicate, be mindful of how you speak, and apologize frequently  : we are all more vulnerable than we seem, and we make mistakes, or hurt loved ones, often unintentionally. Be humble and practice this to heal wounds, preventing pride from taking root, as it destroys everything. This is how you can address those less honorable behaviors and rebuild the relationship. 

Learning the art of making amends…  Feelings and emotions can’t always be changed, although in some ways they can, but what is within our control is how we respond…

• Knowing that, in the worst-case scenario:  “where there is no love, put love, and you will get love.”  With patience.

In short, it’s about striving to love a little better each day:  a meticulous craft with an eye toward eternity. It’s about building bridges, fostering what unites, and avoiding what bothers the other person, not because it’s inherently bad, but because it bothers them… It’s about using that to offer it to them, to love more and better through that small gesture.

Win the other person over with a thoughtful and affectionate gesture. Think about it every morning and put it into action. Only positive actions and words can build anything. Don’t take things for granted. If love isn’t communicated, if it isn’t made real, good intentions remain unfulfilled.  Make things happen:  plan get-togethers, create an atmosphere where you can talk and connect, enjoy each other’s company, relax, open up, or share your joy or sorrow. And learn which love language resonates most with the other person—whether it’s words, time, gifts, help, or physical touch.

Thus, gradually build that mutual love with everyday gestures and acts of kindness, full of affection and a desire to make him happy.

Building love is building family.  It is its life-giving “core.” And that love will overflow effectively toward the children, who will feel deeply loved and will be able to develop their qualities and uniqueness… thinking of others, especially within the family. In this way, they learn to love:  the highest goal of humankind, and the one that truly makes us happy.