In recent decades, life expectancy has increased, and more and more couples are reaching maturity together. However, a  phenomenon  that was rare a few years ago has also grown: so-called  “divorce in old age”  or  “grey divorce ,” the  separation of couples after age 50 , and even after several decades of marriage.

What leads couples who have shared a significant part of their lives to decide to end their relationship? The rising rate  of divorce in later life  stems from a combination of expectations, personal changes, and challenges inherent to this stage of life. Below, we share some of the most relevant findings presented by  Angelus News .

Divorce statistics for the elderly

A 2025 report by the Institute for Family Studies now estimates that the failure rate of first marriages is 40% —which, in fact, represents an improvement over previous years— and marriages in the early 21st century are already lasting longer than those of the previous generation.

However, there is one group that remains the exception.

American couples  over 50 are divorcing at twice the rate recorded in 1990 , and divorce rates among Americans  over 65 have tripled.  In 2019, about 36% of all divorces involved people aged 50 and older. That figure, for now, remains stable.

In her book  “Generations: The Real Differences Between Generation Z, Millennials, Generation X, Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation, and What They Mean for America’s Future”  (Atria Books), psychologist  Jean Twenge  speculates that the rising divorce rate among baby boomers is related to their belief that marriage should go “beyond duty to fulfill the highest expectations of sexual pleasure and companionship.”

Leaving aside serious problems—abuse, coercion, a union entered into without true freedom—many decide to end their relationship when the marriage does not reach that high level of demand, sometimes after decades of poor communication and estrangement.

And, as  “The Wall Street Journal” recently analyzed ,  the cost of divorce after age 50 is high:  the reduction in the standard of living and the division of assets leave many in a worse situation, as does the deterioration of social relationships and the loss of a partner with whom to face declining health and aging.

Although divorce is often presented as a personal decision, studies in social sciences are clear:  its effects extend over several generations,  affecting both children and grandchildren who were not even born at the time of the separation.

What leads some couples to divorce after age 50?

There is no single answer. Experts consulted by  Angelus News  point out that, in addition to the serious problems that can affect any marriage, there are changes inherent to this stage of life that test the relationship.

1. The empty nest syndrome

One of the most frequent factors is  empty nest syndrome.  When the youngest child leaves home, many couples struggle to regain their balance as husband and wife.

If you would like to learn more about this stage, we invite you to read our article on  how to cope with empty nest syndrome .

2. Neglect of the relationship

Father Jack Dickinson, judicial vicar of the diocese of Portland (Maine), warns that even the joy of  raising children  can cause spouses to focus all their attention on them and put their marriage on the back burner.

That’s precisely why, at  LaFamilia.info,  we’ve addressed this challenge in the article  “The most challenging stage of marriage: when the children are small ,” where we explain why nurturing the relationship during the child-rearing years can make all the difference when the children grow up and a new stage begins for the couple.

As a parish priest and specialist in canon law, Dickinson accompanies both engaged couples preparing for marriage and people requesting a declaration of nullity.

His advice is clear:  “I insist on the need for couples to prioritize their relationship with God and nurture their marriage above all other obligations, including professional ones. This creates the necessary space to know and love their spouse, and to be known and loved by him or her.”

Along the same lines, Ester Munt-Brooks, a Catholic speaker at  Faith with Joy Talks , points out that one of the keys to a lasting marriage is to maintain friendship and curiosity about each other.

She and her husband,  Arthur Brooks , a Harvard professor and author of several books on happiness, have been running marriage preparation and counseling programs for decades. According to Munt-Brooks, you never stop getting to know your spouse:

“There’s always more you can learn about the other person. When we feel comfortable, we take certain things about our spouse for granted. But we should keep asking ourselves questions: Why are they doing this? What are they going through? How are they feeling?”

Maintaining that curiosity and cultivating friendship helps the marriage continue to strengthen over the years.

3. Physical and emotional changes

Health can also become a challenge for married life. Caroline Gindhart, a nurse specializing in women’s health, explains that  perimenopause and menopause  can bring hot flashes, insomnia, mood swings, weight gain, pain during intercourse, and decreased libido.

All of this can affect communication, intimacy, and emotional stability of the couple , precisely at a stage in which both are redefining their identity and their life project.

4. Retirement and the search for a new purpose

Another transitional moment comes with retirement. Upon leaving work, many people discover that they have not only lost a job, but also an important part of their identity, their routine, and their sense of belonging.

The writer Allison Beauparlant sums up this process with a reflection:  “When you reach your forties or fifties, you start to ask yourself: ‘What is my life? Is this all there is?’”

These questions can become an opportunity to grow together, but they can also generate tension if the couple does not face this new stage together.

Conclusion

While every marriage story is unique, these facts highlight the importance of nurturing a relationship at every  stage of life .  Communication, friendship, a shared spiritual life, and the commitment to continue getting to know each other can make all the difference when the changes that come with age arrive.

Ultimately, a marriage is not strengthened only in the big moments, but also in the small decisions of love, listening and commitment that are renewed every day.