Some biographies seem written against the grain, driven by a mixture of visceral rebellion and a poorly channeled thirst for the infinite . Ayram Edery’s begins in the hallways of a Catholic school in Caracas, where the dogmas of childhood slipped away without taking root before the allure of a pop culture that promised prominence and freedom . At seventeen, with an athletic scholarship in hand, she crossed the border into the United States, believing she had found the ultimate stage for her emancipation . Texas and, later, Miami became the backdrop for a routine ruled by family anonymity and the overwhelming desire to be seen.

However, behind the glitz of the big electronic music clubs and his compulsive attendance at the nightlife scene lurked a profound identity crisis . In an environment where he experimented with all kinds of substances and excesses, Edery experienced the fleeting triumph of being the center of attention, a mirage that soon crumbled . His childhood wounds—abandonment, rejection, and a persistent feeling of not fitting in—found temporary refuge in a life lived on the edge, until his body and mind finally gave out . Panic attacks, rampant depression, and chronic insomnia opened the door to an existential abyss that bordered on tragic ideas . Ironically, those terrifying physical collapses would ultimately become the unexpected lifeline that stopped his freefall .

The providential detour: a nightclub and a retreat by mistake

The turning point was shrouded in the paradox that often characterizes the great designs of providence . In the middle of a night of electronic music, in the heart of Miami’s vibrant scene, an acquaintance approached her with a disconcerting intuition: “You look like the devil, there’s something about you… you should go on a retreat called Emmaus .” The seed was sown amidst laughter and tobacco smoke, though it would take weeks to germinate .

Months later, under the false promise of attending an experimental retreat with hallucinogenic substances, Edery agreed to pack her suitcase . She fell into a deep sleep during the car ride—a telling sign for someone unable to sleep in an altered state—and upon waking, she discovered the deception: it wasn’t a shamanic retreat center, but a Catholic Emmaus retreat . Her initial reaction was one of uncontrolled fury, screaming, and absolute resistance . She refused to give up her world and threatened to consume whatever she wanted inside . However, the patience of an organizer who allowed her entry changed the course of events .

Face to face before the tabernacle: the truth and the judgment of mercy

What happened at that retreat marked a definitive turning point . Before the Blessed Sacrament, in a profound silence that contrasted sharply with the turmoil of her past, Edery experienced a spiritual upheaval of overwhelming proportions . In an intimate revelation that still brings tears to her eyes, she felt with absolute certainty the reality of judgment and condemnation, understanding that her spiritual life was mortally bankrupt . Yet, simultaneously, an infinitely more powerful certainty emerged: the voice of a God who called her “beloved daughter” and offered her one last chance at redemption .

That encounter didn’t promise empty promises or purely emotional healing, but radical salvation . With the urgency of someone on the brink of disaster, he ran to find the then-deacon—and now priest—Osvaldo Goudelo . Without filters or shame, he poured out the years of darkness, the esoteric rituals, the addictions, and the wounds of his soul . The priest’s response wasn’t reproach, but acceptance and a challenge worthy of his fighting spirit: thirty-three consecutive days of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament .

The detoxification of the soul and the birth of an apostolate

The purification process was not without suffering . Physical and psychological abstinence, night terrors, and the constant temptation to look back tested a will accustomed to immediate pleasure . Supported by unwavering devotion to the Holy Rosary—described as the ultimate shield against the strongest chains—and rigorous spiritual direction, Edery learned to transform anxiety into an offering for souls .

That notebook where she poured out her life’s confession became, at Father Goudelo’s suggestion, the seed of the Manual for Falling in Love , a digital evangelization project that today mobilizes multitudes on social media . Far from proposing a sugarcoated faith or a catalog of apparent perfections, its message insists on a liberating truth: God doesn’t seek flawless hearts, but hearts willing to acknowledge their own wretchedness . As she herself often recalls with the conviction of someone who has hit rock bottom and risen to the light, “every saint has a past and every sinner has a future . “