In the previous article, we discussed the first level of liquid “love”, where the person doesn’t know they don’t know how to love. They live on automatic, following the dictates of liquid society, until one day—usually in the midst of a crisis—they face a painful truth:  something isn’t right in their relationship.

This crisis can appear in many forms:

• Dissatisfactions that end in constant arguments.
• Infidelity.
• Physical or verbal violence.
• Or simply the feeling that the other person no longer meets my expectations.

The person then discovers that the way they live their relationship isn’t what they want. They realize they don’t know how to love… but they desire it. Hence, at this level, the person identifies with Conscious Incompetence in Love.

Conflict… of identity

In this way, the person enters into conflict … and so does their identity. A profound change emerges here: the automatic self, shaped by fashions, opinions, and external needs, begins to crumble. Now the longing for an authentic self is born, one that seeks fulfillment in what it is, not in what it has or receives.

This discovery often brings conflict: what once provided security now causes discomfort, and what once seemed sufficient no longer does. The need for a solid reference arises that doesn’t change with time or trends.

And here the most resounding answer appears:  God.
We come from Him, and we go to Him. We come from Love, and we go to Love. Only from there does our calling to be good lovers make sense.

What characterizes this level

At this second level there are still traces of liquid behaviors learned in the past, but now there is a decisive step:  the desire to love.

This desire opens the door to a fundamental task:
developing the identity of love and marriage.

Because no one improvises to become a doctor, architect, or musician. Everyone studies, practices, and trains. Why then do we believe that in the most enduring profession of all—married life—we don’t need training?

The task of this level

1. Question : How am I experiencing my relationship? What do I really want?
2. Educate yourself : Know what love is, what marriage means, and how to live it.
3. Preparing for the next step : Once you’ve acquired this knowledge, you’ll need the will to apply it. And that leap will take us to the third level.

If you recognize yourself at this level today, don’t be discouraged:  you are no longer in the unconsciousness of the first level. You are taking an essential step: the desire to truly love. That desire is the seed that can transform your life and your relationship.