1. Show respect even when it is not reciprocated

I believe we should show respect even to those who don’t deserve it, not as a reflection of their character, but of our own. Honoring “difficult” in-laws builds bridges of peace that will positively impact future generations. It’s not easy, but the effort is worthwhile!

If the relationship is already healthy, keep working to keep it that way.  If the relationship isn’t healthy, ask yourself if you’re contributing to the problem or the solution. Be a mediator.

2. Don’t show favoritism

In most marriages, one set of parents (in-laws) receives more attention than the other. Many factors contribute to this, but you should do everything in your power to give both sets of parents equal attention and time.  Favoritism usually leads to resentment,  while consistency and regularity build trust.

3. Stay in touch with your in-laws (not just your parents)

Don’t fall into the habit of talking to your parents but then immediately handing the phone to your partner every time their parents call. When your in-laws call, try to answer the phone and have a conversation with them before giving the phone to your partner.  Show them you value them by giving them your time and attention.  Find simple ways to invest in your own relationship with them.

You might be interested in:  eBook  100 ideas to improve your marriage

4. Set clear boundaries

A healthy marriage requires that your first and greatest loyalty be to your partner, so don’t let other family relationships come between you.

In practice, this means you should never call your parents when you’re arguing with your partner. That would create an unhealthy dynamic between you and your parents. Also, don’t allow anyone (relative or otherwise) to speak negatively about your partner or do anything that could weaken your marriage.

5. Celebrate differences

Your family’s traditions and customs may probably be different from those of your partner’s family, but both families are equally important, so value those differences.

Celebrate the uniqueness of each family and find a way to bring both perspectives into your own family traditions.

6. Love them!

In every relationship, when we allow love to set the tone, it has a way of covering up past differences and hurts and uniting us in a beautiful way. Let love guide your family life, and everything else will work itself out!

(Adapted into Spanish by María Mercedes Vanegas, for PildorasdeFe and published in ReL)