Listening is more than just being silent. Furthermore, in virtual communication, you can’t see the other person, so there’s no nonverbal communication, and a lot of information is lost. For conversations to be effective and achieve their intended goals, you need to learn to listen well. There are many ways to listen. If you’re a mentor or coach, I suggest you practice empathetic listening.

In the process of developing and achieving their goals, mentors need to speak with the person they want to help several times. For these conversations to be effective and meet their intended objectives, mentors need to learn how to listen. There are many ways to listen. My suggestion is  to practice and cultivate empathetic listening skills.

In empathetic listening, the other person is the protagonist. When we listen, our primary goal is to concentrate on understanding the entirety of the message we are receiving with a compassionate attitude. To do this, we must cultivate two attitudes:  looking with affection and being genuinely interested in listening. Looking with affection means looking at the other person without prejudice, even if their beliefs are very different from our own.  Being genuinely interested in listening to the other person is reflected in giving them time, without giving the impression of being rushed; in being fully focused on listening, without getting distracted; and in letting them speak, without interrupting or changing the subject. Ultimately, we listen with respect and interest because we care about the person we are speaking with.

Empathetic listening is not a technique, but a way of life. If we listen to someone, it’s because we care, and therefore  we must show them that we are listening:  ask clarifying questions, ask for examples of what they are trying to convey, paraphrase or repeat what they say (using the same words, synonyms, or in the form of a question), recap or summarize what they have said by asking a question to verify it (for example: if I understand correctly, are you saying that…)

Ultimately, it’s about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Often, beneath the words lie motivations, emotions, feelings, beliefs, or values ​​that the person is sometimes unable to express precisely. That’s why we also have to do everything in our power to intuit what lies beneath the words we’re hearing. This is true empathy.

This article was published in the Diario de Almería