During the Second Pro-Life Convention held at the Congress of the Republic, Carlos Aponte shared a moving account of his family and professional life, highlighting his commitment to life and his ongoing fatherhood. Aponte, who expressed his gratitude for the invitation, stated that family “means everything” to him and that it is what has defined him.

The heart of his message was that it is possible to “break the cycle” of inherited family dysfunction. Aponte recounted how his grandmother was orphaned and abandoned, and his mother was abandoned by her father. He himself had a father who was born to a single mother. Despite this history, Aponte and his wife, Carolina, have been married for over 26 years and together for 31 years, an achievement he attributes to the grace of God and the struggle to be a good husband and father, always seeking to be “open to life.”

Nine Children, a present and balanced family

The couple has nine children, including two twins she lost to a miscarriage, whom she mentioned because they “gave her the illusion of dreaming.” Aponte expressed great satisfaction at seeing her two oldest daughters lead independent and happy lives, while the next two are studying engineering, and the remaining five, ages 9 to 17, grow up in an environment of trust.

The key to his success, according to Aponte, has been balance and professional sacrifice. He shared how his wife decided to be a stay-at-home mom for the first 17 years, allowing him to forge a career. Later, they reversed roles, and he has enjoyed being a stay-at-home dad with flexible work opportunities for the past eight years, proudly supporting his wife’s career advancement.

The speaker emphasized that the labor system must be more flexible, since many fathers “wanting to be present paternal or maternal figures cannot achieve this,” and this even “fills them with anguish at the news of the arrival of a baby.”

Decisions that are “Worth It”

Aponte revealed that on several occasions he had to turn down important job offers, such as when he worked at Google after the acquisition of Motorola Canada’s division. His priority matrix was always clear: “God first, Carolina second, my children third, my family and friends fourth, and work fifth.”

Referring to his current fatherhood, Aponte explained that his personal limit for being away from his family was three weeks, which he attributes to having an absent father.

Referring to the reflections in a book on  Regrets of the Dying , he cited the second most common regret as, “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

“Any of those ‘best-case scenarios’ were pure illusion, and if I had gone that route, it wouldn’t have been as fun.”

The formula for large families: The 1.5 rule

When asked how to achieve balance in a large family, Aponte shared his rule: the proportion of work “cannot exceed 1.5.” This means that one parent must work “at most part-time,” since two parents working full-time “does not fit the family’s primary goal: being present parents.”

Finally, Aponte concluded his remarks with a personal anecdote: his mother was advised to abort him at age 22 because she was a student at the National University, with an 8-month-old son, and living in poverty.

Carlos Aponte’s message was a fervent defense of the right to life and the traditional family structure: “The great revolution of our era is and will be to create a family where the unspeakable right of a child, after birth, to have a father and a mother is realized.”

Full text:

II Pro-Life Convention. September 18, 2025.

Congress of the Republic

I must thank the Pro-Life Caucus for inviting us to be part of this incredible project. Family is everything to me, and I’m not exaggerating, because it has defined me. I’ve always believed that if you want to live an extraordinary adventure, a great adventure, that implies extraordinary responsibility. I must clarify that being married for more than 26 years (we already won the silver medal), and dating for 31 years (meaning I’ve spent more time with Carolina than I have been single), is not because I have extraordinary abilities. I really don’t: I can say this here in Congress to Carolina, to several of our children, to our family, and to our friends who might be listening. For me, with the Grace of God, the true challenge has been being able to break the cycle of my own family dynamic, wanting to be open to life, striving to be a good husband and father. My grandmother had the difficult life of being orphaned by her father and then abandoned by my grandfather. My mother was abandoned by her father and had to deal with the horrible situation of dealing with my father’s other wife. I had a better father than my father, who was born to a single mother from the age of three months.

Today, two of our nine children, the eldest, lead independent and happy lives: it’s a great satisfaction when your children take that step with determination. The next two are studying engineering and doing very well. The other five, here with us from ages 17 to 9, are in school, growing up in an environment of trust. We also suffered a miscarriage of twins, and I’m sure our babies always watch over us from the afterlife, and I must mention them because they gave us the hope of dreaming. My wife decided to be a homemaker for the first 17 years of our marriage; without her, it would have been impossible to have the professional career I had, being able to accept a professional transfer to live abroad and another to return… And for the last eight years, I’ve enjoyed being a homemaker with flexible work opportunities to balance the family budget, while I’ve proudly watched over my wife’s professional progress. The cycle can be broken! Regardless of the challenges that arise or the sacrifices that must be faced, it really is possible—that’s my message—and it’s worth it!

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, that’s why it’s called The Present.” That’s one of the best lines from our favorite family movie, Kung-Fu Panda, and it expresses the complete concept of how we’ve managed to balance work and family. Despite even grueling workdays, the joy of saying goodbye to my children in the morning and welcoming them back in the afternoon has filled every day of my life. That said, the longest period I’ve had to be away from my family was five weeks, with my personal limit being three weeks, perhaps because I had an absent father and always looked for job opportunities that would allow me to be a present father. But that hasn’t been the case for many close friends, who, despite wanting to be present father or mother figures, are unable to do so due to the inflexible labor system. And even the news of a baby’s arrival fills them with anguish when, as in my case, it should be one of immense joy. I will always thank God, my family, the laws that protect life, and the bosses I had for allowing me to raise my children.

I also have other friends who don’t realize the void any child experiences when one of their parents isn’t truly involved in school presentations, holiday functions, and even birthdays. But then, as time passes and the roles are reversed, they suffer because those who were once children and are now adults are always busy and don’t have time to visit their elderly parents, sometimes even for revenge. I don’t regret the departure of my two older children at all: what I longed for most in life was to find a woman with whom I could build a life and, literally, “mess around” with them. Obviously, I’ve turned down job offers that didn’t fit with my matrix of priorities: God first, Carolina second, my children third, my family and friends fourth, and work fifth. I particularly remember a few moments when I was working at Google, when they bought the Motorola Canada division. I wanted to stand out; I was attracted by a huge salary that would allow me to buy a bigger house and car for the family. It was difficult to find balance, and I learned, painfully and sometimes angrily, to confront my own limits by saying no because it would jeopardize the family’s stability. However, they were the best decisions because, in the end, everything worked out and happened in the most convenient way for us. Any of those “best-case scenarios” were pure illusion, and if I had taken that path, it wouldn’t have been as much fun. A friend always told me, “It’s like Someone is always holding your hand.” There’s a book I occasionally revisit, and I want to share it with you. The book is called  Regrets of the Dying . When a nurse asked patients before they died about their regrets or something they would do differently, common themes emerged again and again. Here are the five most common:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had kept in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.

Life is a choice. It’s YOUR life. Choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

When I reviewed that order, “working hard” came in second, and I’d change it to working smart. I think I’ve been very lucky because raising nine children requires focus. I also believe it’s harder to raise one, or none, than nine, because you can be tempted to give everything to that little emperor or, worse, to yourself. The greatest gift I’ve received from having a large family is having been able to  “rise to the occasion ,” as Winston Churchill said, always thinking before deciding what’s best for those God has entrusted to me. In the end, even if things didn’t go as planned, the outcome was better knowing that alternatives can be found if you take on the role of protagonist rather than victim. I could never have imagined that what was at stake with returning to Colombia was being able to be close to my parents, who died a holy death two days apart, during the second peak of COVID-19 infections. They, along with my other relatives and friends who passed away before me, must be very proud watching me speak in the Capitol of the Republic from across the river. I recognize that these are not easy times and that many people are suffering tremendously, and that’s why I strive to be grateful and always smile. A grateful attitude with a sense of humor can make all the difference in difficult times, even if there’s not much else that can be done.

We’re often asked: How do they do it? What about the future for their children and themselves (a pension)? How do they strike a fair balance between their professional work and childcare responsibilities? And the real answer is little by little, step by step, brick by brick. When our first baby was born, my wife didn’t want anyone to care for her but herself, so we adjusted the budget to a single-income family. The grandparents helped us back then by watching the kids while we went out to see a movie. We weren’t exactly the kind of party-loving, pretentious couples, but I always took Carolina with me on work trips whenever possible, and our extended family was very helpful. When we were transferred to Canada, we lived alone, but we were able to find a nanny among friends or parishioners at the parish to spend a few hours caring for our marriage. But when the number of children increased enough (4), we realized that to raise a large family, the labor-to-work ratio cannot exceed 1.5. In other words, there must be one who can work at most half-time. This means that two parents working full-time is not adequate and does not fit the main goal of the family: being present parents. As I said before, you learn to say no to good things so that better things can emerge.

When we returned to Colombia with seven children, the oldest being 12, we were able to occasionally hire help with household chores. However, since last year, we became self-employed because that daily routine teaches and prepares children for life, to serve, even if the quality of the work they do isn’t up to par. Dostoevsky says that  “whoever has had a happy childhood is safe. And a child is happy when they receive a good upbringing, when they are educated to feel capable and capable of doing many things .” You can only go faster, but together we can go further. Today, as a couple, we can go away for a couple of days—we even did it for almost a month—knowing that we won’t have to face an earthquake upon returning home. I remembered the crisis I experienced when we were expecting our sixth: as if I couldn’t, as if my expectations—some inherited—couldn’t be met. Then I thought to myself, “Going to that delicious restaurant I want to go to again is just a memory from three children ago, but what I truly want is to enjoy my children and be happy with what I have.” It really doesn’t take that much to be happy. And today I can say that God has given me so much more than I ever imagined.

It’s true that a large family brings more difficulties, but also more solutions. Being the father of a large family has made me feel more grown-up. What children need to face that hostile world outside the four walls of their home is for Mom and Dad to love each other and feel loved… a place truly called home, warm for them, for others, and for society. I might regret some of the decisions I’ve made, but never for any of my children. Each one has brought me great happiness. I don’t want to oversimplify, but it’s about believing that it’s possible and helping others believe and making it possible for them. I’ll close with an anecdote about my mother and a quote from GK Chesterton. First, the phrase: “Those who attack the family don’t know what they do, because they don’t know what they’re undoing.” Now for the anecdote: my mother was advised to have an abortion because she was 22 years old, and my older brother was 8 months old, a student at the National University and poor. If children understand the example of their parents and the rule of law fosters an environment of law and order that defends the constitutional right to life, they will surely succeed! And so will our children’s children. Because amidst so much revolutionary talk, the great revolution of our era is and will be to create a family where the unspeakable right of a child, after birth, to have a father and a mother is realized. While I, when I die, would like to take that nap with the certainty that, with God’s help, a new dynamic was created for the years to come, while I had the great adventure of raising a family. Thank you very much!