The Creed before the “I do”

What things should be discussed before getting married? For Pep Borrell, a doctor, father of five and author of  Dancing in the Kitchen , the answer is as direct as it is provocative:  “What you have to do is bring out the creed . “

In a world where courtship has often become a “mock marriage” focused on enjoyment and travel, Pep proposes a return to the basics. It’s not just about having a good time, but about understanding the inner workings of the other person’s soul. For him, marriage is not a contract of feelings, but a  covenant with God through the beloved .

“I can commit to loving, but I cannot commit to feeling. Feelings come today and go tomorrow; however, loving depends on my will.”

Chesterton’s Luck

During the conversation on  Rebeldes Podcast , a quote from GK Chesterton comes up that summarizes the philosophy of a shared life:  “Many men have been lucky enough to marry the woman they love, but much luckier is the man who loves the woman he has married . “

This distinction is vital. Pep explains that mature love—  agape —is that which chooses to seek the good of the other even when the “butterflies” of  eros  are not present. It is a love that is built on small things: on order, on formation, and on the daily decision to sanctify the ordinary.

An Open Door Family

Pep’s story cannot be understood without his roots in Barcelona. As the eldest of ten siblings, he grew up in a house where  the garage door broke one day and remained open forever . This physical openness reflected a spiritual one: a house where there was always room for one more, where faith was lived with a “super-coherent” normality.

That is the legacy she now passes on to her seven grandchildren. Her resume, she assures, always follows this order:

1. Catholic.
2. Married to Montse.
3. Father of five.
4. Grandfather of seven.
5. …and then, a dentist.

Courtship: Training for Heaven

For Pep, raising a child in the faith is “a bargain,” even from a pragmatic point of view: it gives them a compass about what is right and wrong, and the resource of forgiveness to start over.

To today’s engaged couples, he issues a challenge: do not conform to the ways of thinking of this world. A well-lived marriage is the closest thing to heaven on earth, but it requires understanding that marital consent is, in reality, an act of divine “madness”: promising to love each other in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty,  every day of life .

Did you enjoy this article?  Marriage is a relay race where sometimes one person carries the torch and the other simply follows. The important thing is to keep running together.

Do you think that nowadays “love” is often confused with simply “feeling good” with someone?