I remember with quiet emotion the first surgical operation from the vault of the university hospital. My first calling was to be a doctor. It wasn’t the right time.

Let’s imagine a surgeon.

He has the scalpel in his hand and a diseased organ in front of him. But there’s blood. And the blood obscures his vision.

So it doesn’t cut blindly. 

Cut a little, clamp a vein, move aside. 

Clear the field. Only then will you see the diseased organ.

It’s not cruelty. It’s the only way to get there.

What if I do it this way with myself? With you? With my students? 

Without anesthesia, but gently?

How many times do we tell ourselves: “I don’t need anyone”

A first vein.

“Clamp!” the surgeon calls.

We’ve been telling ourselves this for years. And it’s worked out so well that hardly anyone asks us how we are anymore.

We call it strength. Sometimes it’s just rigidity. 

It is self-sufficiency disguised as autonomy , the kind that wants to sustain everything on its own. 

Until the whole weighs more than we do.

“I don’t want to bother anyone”

Second vein: I need clamps! Says the surgeon. 

There’s another, more polite version: the one disguised as humility. We don’t ask, we don’t get in the way, we manage. We help everyone, and when it’s our turn to receive, we change the subject. We don’t need anything. 

It may be “good manners”, disguised as humility.

Some of us walk alone with pride. 

Others, alone with apologies. 

But we walk alone.

 “That’s just who I am”

Third vein, clamp!

We have believed that need is failing. 

Asking is a debt. 

That leaning on someone is surrendering.

Behind the “that’s just how I am” there is often fear. Fear of the “debit” on the balance sheet.

Fear of being seen without our armor. Fear of discovering that they would still love us because love only understands people.

But the load is heavy!

We reach a certain age and discover that we are everyone’s support. Our children’s, our parents’, our work’s. And almost no one asks who supports the one who supports.

Now the diseased organ is visible. 

Clamp. Move aside. Dry the tear. Now it’s time to disinfect, remove, suture…

The heart is exhausted. And that’s not a flaw: it’s a heart. Hearts beat because something sustains them.

And that tiredness hurts. 

The wound is not in our need, nor in depending on the other. 

The wound is having convinced myself that I shouldn’t need anything. That I should carry myself alone.  

And no, there’s no need to run for help. It’s enough to look up, to look and let ourselves be looked at. Just one person is enough. 

Healing can be visualized.   

When Leo XIV, in the Brians prison (Barcelona), said to the prisoners: “God loves you as you are, but dreams of you as you are!”

He was speaking to those behind metal bars. But it’s also relevant for those of us who live behind other bars: the bars of pride, of habit, of “I can do it alone.”

He loves you as you are : with cracks, with needs, with light and shadows. 

But he dreams better of you .

God doesn’t wait for us to be self-sufficient to love us. Saint Paul, who knew about burdens, wrote it without shame: “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

There is a building that expresses this perfectly: the Gothic cathedral . Let’s go inside. Inside, light fills the air. Walls that seem made of glass, vaults that seem to disappear into the sky. Everything appears to be holding itself up.

We walk around the building and the secret is revealed. The flying buttresses , arches that absorb the thrust of the vaults. The buttresses , massive structures that carry that load to the ground.

And they’re out in the open. They’re not hidden.

In Lourdes, Leo XIV told the sick that there “fragility is not hidden.”2 The cathedral expresses it in stone.

None of its parts can stand on their own. Remove a flying buttress and the vault collapses. And nobody calls the cathedral weak for that. It’s the reason it’s still standing.

Speaking to French authorities, the Pope spoke of humbly recognizing “the need we have for one another.”3

That is humble self-sufficiency : standing tall knowing Who sustains us.

Giving and receiving are necessary

Those who never allow others to help them deprive others of the opportunity to be their support.

Letting yourself be helped doesn’t weaken you, it enriches you.  

Receiving is also serving.

This is what St. Paul asked: “Bear one another’s burdens.”5 Support ceases to be a burden and becomes a bridge. Two ways.

This week let’s look for our flying buttresses. Let’s name them one by one. 

And let’s say to someone, even if it’s difficult: thank you, without you I wouldn’t be standing.

Scalpel out. 

Clean wound. 

Heart without arrhythmias 

References

1. Leo XIV, address to inmates at Brians 1 Penitentiary (Sant Esteve Sesrovires, Barcelona), June 10, 2026, during his apostolic journey to Spain. Quote from Verdad en Libertad: https://verdadenlibertad.com/leon-xiv-a-presos-en-cataluna/

2. Pope Leo XIV, meeting with the sick and their companions at the “Accueil Notre-Dame” healthcare center, Sanctuary of Lourdes, September 2026, during his apostolic journey to France. Vatican News: https://www.vaticannews.va/es/papa/news/2026-09/papa-leon-xiv-viaje-apostolico-francia-enfermos-defensa-vida.html

3. Leo XIV, address to the authorities, civil society, and the diplomatic corps, Élysée Palace, Paris, September 25, 2026. ACI Prensa: https://www.aciprensa.com/noticias/128727/discurso-leon-xiv-autoridades-francia

4. Second Letter to the Corinthians 12:10

5. Letter to the Galatians 6, 2.