That not always prepared….
And who is fully prepared? I certainly am not. I see myself so imperfect and with so many limitations.
It is not an issue of low self-esteem by any means. It is the awareness of knowing I am very small and in need of God. Immensely loved and therefore precious and valuable, but also immensely tiny.
Faced with this reality, conscious, accepted and loved, I see that having a prepared heart is not the same as having it ready.
And what I want and what I ask for is for that willing heart. For the last few days of Advent in an attitude of waiting, but active waiting. Ready. Open. With the sails spread and the anchor furled. With the 5 senses in operation.
Without worldly securities and few of those certainties that I like to have, at least for me.
With a free heart that is ready to respond to whatever comes, being aware that my vulnerability and my limitations mean that I do not feel prepared, since, to be prepared, among other things, the grace of the Holy Spirit is necessary and not my own merits.
In fact, many times it is not so much the objective fact of being so as that feeling or emotion of feeling it.
But if we firmly believe that God does not choose the qualified, but he trains those he chooses, we should not doubt.
These days, I have received a lot of beautiful meditations on how to prepare our soul and heart for the arrival of Jesus. About the Virgin and Saint Joseph and that trip to Bethlehem.
It is wonderful, and I am amazed, again and again, at how the same event that is repeated year after year (and I am no longer 20 years old) can reach you, challenge you, envelop you, take you completely… as if it were the first time. How the Holy Spirit, through his intermediaries, each one of us, makes everything new and is able to tell you a word that you know is for you when you read what was written by someone unknown who has stood in front of a sheet of paper white.
I am left with one that has especially challenged me and that asked that question especially addressed to me: Where is your “Bethlehem”?
The Virgin and Saint Joseph the days before the birth of Jesus set out and left Nazareth for Bethlehem, and not exactly in a large carriage. Where is God asking you to move? What is the city of Bethlehem in your life?
I don’t know yet, but I do know that I want to be willing to receive it, accept it and love it. I want – even if I am not or do not feel ready to leave my known Nazareth and go on a donkey to Bethlehem – to be willing to do it, knowing that it will be good.
I don’t want to get so lethargic or bogged down with the world that I can’t listen to it. Likewise, I want to be awake with my shield of trust in Him and the helmet of Faith. Ready and I hope that one day, also prepared.
I wish you with love a happy and holy Christmas.
