There is no doubt about it! All human beings value friendship and all of us, without exception, have friends. But it is also true that some people are more “gregarious” by nature, that is, they enjoy being with other people, and they are very sociable, friendly, and extroverted.
In this regard, a year ago, I wrote an article entitled, “Habits, virtues, and Values through school education.” In a paragraph of the article, I commented that Aristotle said: “… the friend is another self, without friendship man cannot be happy.”
By the way, regarding friendship, Aristotle mentions that there are three types:
- Friendship is based on utility.- Both people are clear that the bond is based on belonging, for example, to the same study group.
- Friendship is based on pleasure.- Both people mutually enjoy each other’s company.
- Friendship is based on character.- It implies time, and dedication to get to know each other, for this reason, one has few close friends.
In the following lines I will briefly share with you the story of the friendship of one of my five friends from my university days, which continues to this day, after more than 35 years. This time I will speak specifically about Pablo and how the friendship based on usefulness evolved, until now becoming a friendship based on character.
In that sense, both Pablo and I entered the Ricardo Palma University to study Administration the same year (March 1988), although in different student halls. However, from the second year we took some courses together, we began to do group work, then to go out some weekends and some trips or Easter camps (which were not exactly reflective). I even remember the threat of a fight we had over a work in the course “production organization”, although to this day I am not clear on the reason for that discrepancy. After finishing university, he went to live abroad for a while with his entire family. Then he came back, we continued to see each other and I even made him a witness at my wedding, since I was the first to get married out of that group of five siblings in life. Later, I was one of the first to know that he was going to get married and so on.
On the other hand, both Jessica (my wife) and I are godparents of two of his three children (two girls and a boy). And as I mentioned in previous articles, for almost three years we have lived with my entire family in Buenos Aires – Argentina. However, even with the physical distance between us, Pablo is the first to call on the phone for my daughters’ birthdays and to ask how work is going, the health of my mother, my brothers and even my mother-in-law. When she had a health problem, he took her to the hospital and stayed until he took over with Jessica’s brother.
As for Pablo, a few days ago, we spoke on the phone and I noticed that he was a little off (I must also point out that one of his characteristics is that he is a very calm, introverted person). I asked him what was going on, and he told me that he had some difficulties typical of daily life, such as work, with the neoplasia of one of his parents and other things related to health and studying with the kids.
However, immediately after, he changes the tone of his voice and therefore his attitude and tells me, these are the crosses of life, and we must bear them with joy. There… I take advantage and just say, of course Pablo, LET’S GO! This is a typical harangue from the gaucho lands.
This episode made me think that in the face of the different events that we all face in our lives, sometimes we will react with:
- Enthusiasm, we will see the funny, good, great side, etc.
- Others with expressions, how annoying, how lazy, put on the best face and give it hard, etc.
- Other times we will feel that we must climb Huascarán, that we are very close to the precipice, etc.
And life is like that, it has valleys and peaks, which we must always travel through, not looking for why these things happen, but for what they happen. Knowing what the meaning of them is. Remember that even Jesus was helped by Simon of Cyrene to carry his cross.
So, based on the previous paragraph, I wish to share the following with you:
Viktor Frankl, in his work, Man in Search of Meaning, invites us to reflect on the power of love, the search for humor and the courage that we must have in the face of the difficulties that are presented to us.
For this reason, Inés Temple, president of LHH Peru and Chile, always comments the following: “It’s not the face you have, it’s the face you put on” (attitude).
The rock group, Enanitos Verdes in their song Amigos, has a verse that says:
“Because they will always be with me,
Those good times we spent without knowing
That a friend is a light shining in the darkness
You will always be my friend
Nothing else matters”
Dear reader, I invite you to be alert and ready to go out to meet that friend who has always been there for you (Lighting your way) but who today may be facing some difficulty in silence. Or he may have fallen and hurt himself. Give him support, without fear, be that unconditional support now, listen to him, put your shoulder to him in case he needs strength and help him get up and gain momentum to move forward. Be the one who lights his way.
What do you say, are you ready to go out to meet your friend and row against the current!
