When we think about the person we will share the rest of our lives with, it is natural to have certain expectations. Society gives us an idea of what we should look for: a perfect person, with the ideal physique, the job of our dreams, and a host of other qualities. However, is this the most important thing? From a Christian perspective, true love goes beyond the superficial. In the search for the right boyfriend or girlfriend, we must look beyond what the eyes can see and direct our gaze toward the heart.
1. It must be someone who loves God deeply
The first and most important thing is that this person must share our faith. In marriage, love for God must be the foundation on which the relationship is built. St. John Paul II said, “Christian marriage is a sacrament that shapes the life of the couple with the love of Christ.” And if both are firmly anchored in faith, they will not only support each other in the joys and difficulties of life, but they will also grow together on their spiritual path.
2. A generous heart willing to give
Generosity is one of the virtues that should stand out the most in a couple. Christian love is not about receiving, but about giving. I remember one time a friend told me how her boyfriend prepared a surprise picnic for her to celebrate their anniversary, even though they both had a tiring day. It was not an expensive or luxurious gift, but it was full of details that reflected his love and dedication. It is not about grand gestures, but about small daily actions that demonstrate genuine interest in the well-being of the other.
3. Humility and ability to grow together
The ideal boyfriend or girlfriend is not someone perfect (no one is). Instead, look for someone who is humble, capable of recognizing their mistakes and learning from them. As Pope Francis teaches us, “True love involves personal growth.” Both partners must be able to face life’s challenges and grow together, overcoming obstacles with patience and love. As a popular saying goes, “those who do not risk growing, do not grow in love.”
4. A sense of humor and joy in daily life
Good humor and the ability to enjoy the little things are essential in any relationship. Having a life partner with whom you can laugh, share funny anecdotes, and not take everything so seriously, makes life lighter and happier. A friend of mine tells how, during a date, his now wife began to tell him anecdotes from her childhood with such enthusiasm that she ended up making him laugh until he cried. That ability to see the positive in difficult situations, to laugh together, is vital for marriage.
5. A heart that respects you and values you as you are
Mutual respect is essential for a healthy relationship. Finding someone who values you for who you are, with your virtues and defects, and who encourages you to be a better person, is the type of partner we should all desire. In a Christian relationship, respect is based on unconditional love and the desire for the other to grow and fulfill themselves in all aspects of their life. “Love is not selfish,” St. Paul reminds us in his first letter to the Corinthians, “it does not seek its own.”
6. A life partner who understands true commitment
Courtship is a stage in which to get to know each other deeply and evaluate whether one is willing to live a lifelong commitment. A love that is not just a passing passion, but is willing to walk together, side by side, even in difficult times. St. Joseph, Mary’s husband, is a great model of commitment. Although his life was not easy, his love and dedication to Mary and Jesus show us the true meaning of commitment.
7. Someone to share dreams and projects with
It is important to find someone with whom you can dream and share your projects. In courtship, one must be able to imagine the future with that person, knowing that one’s goals and desires can be compatible. As a priest once told me, “marriage is a project for two.” That project should not only focus on material things, but also on building a home based on Christian values, where love, prayer and mutual respect guide each step.
8. Patience and trust as pillars
Last but not least, it is essential that the relationship is built on trust and patience. In times of uncertainty, one must be able to fully trust the other. It is not a relationship without difficulties, but rather a relationship that, through patience, is built stronger every day.
In conclusion, the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend is not someone perfect, but someone who loves God, is generous, humble, respectful, and makes you laugh. The most important thing is that you look for a person with whom you can grow, learn, and build a solid love based on Christian values. As St. John Paul II says: “Love is not an emotion, it is a decision.” So, decide to love, decide to look for that person who makes you better, and together, may you walk towards true love.
May your search for love be inspiring, full of faith and joy, always trusting that God has a perfect plan for your life.
