Mexican Father Mario Arroyo Martínez shares with Exaudi’s readers his article in “Theology for Millennials” entitled “The Father’s Shadow.”
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Nature, in the philosophical sense, not biological, is very clear. The human being is a “child” who needs a “father” to find his place in the world, to discover and develop his own identity. Culture, however, has given paternity a bad name. The narrative of the “hetero-patriarchy, united with a view of hardness, rigidity, and imposition does not allow him to carry out his mission with the healthy pride it deserves.
Joined to this is the sad phenomenon of the abandonment of the home and family breakups, which has produced a generation of children orphans of fathers. We can’t be surprised that such a generation is very fragile: not having a father, it lacks that firm point of support from which to project its existence.
Therefore, it’s appropriate to celebrate “Father’s Day,” which is often easily unperceived. It’s far from the “commercial spring” of “Mother’s Day,” and so attracts fewer spotlights. But when much ink has been spilled, giving a negative view of paternity, often motivated by the father’s absence, it’s urgent to give him due recognition. Otherwise, one falls with greater ease into the phenomenon of abandoning one’s children, leaving them without the closeness, support and security that the paternal figure offers.
Therefore, it’s urgent to engage in good marketing of fatherhood, not only to earn huge profits on “Father’s Day,” but to have more individuals aspire to it and see it as one of the most sublime ways of personal fulfillment. The subject of fulfillment is often another obstacle because it’s considered only from the professional sphere which, although important, is only one more facet to integrate into the whole of the goods that correspond to a fulfilled life.
Sometimes individuals delay or outright reject paternity for professional reasons: “if I can’t spend time with him, why have a child?” When correct thinking is just the opposite: “if this job doesn’t enable me to have a family, is it really good for me?”
The question isn’t trivial: personally, it astounds me to live in an area where dogs abound and children are scarce, It’s easier to have a dog than a child. There are also abundant “dog walkers,” because nothing much happens if one doesn’t spend time with one’s dog, as opposed to a child.
However, they are obviously not comparable realities, and it denotes an acute loss of humanity, of understanding of the meaning of life in its totality, to prefer animals to persons for ease that’s not exempt of egoism.
Therefore, it’s imperative to stress, tirelessly, the idea of fatherhood as one of the loftiest and most sublime forms of masculine human development, of one’s fulfillment as a person, that of bringing children into the world. Individuals who give themselves that opportunity is often astounded at the wonder of being called simply and plainly “Daddy.” And this is of greater worth than all the jobs and posts one could attain without it.
It’s important to emphasize that family fulfillment is more important than professional success; if there is order and discipline, they aren’t opposed. Both goods, family, and profession, can be integrated into the set of values that make up a fulfilled life.
Fatherhood must also recover its function of authority, precisely to point out to children clearly where the good is and where the bad. A father is, to a great extent, the beacon of a child’s values, particularly religious values. If a father practices the faith, it’s easier for the child to do so as well, precisely because the father is seen as an authority, as a firm point of reference.
Another issue is that fatherhood must be more flexible and be able to assume roles that previously were the exclusive domain of women. A father must help in the home, because both he and his wife make it successful, and the same is true in the children’s education. This flexibility of domestic roles is, undoubtedly, one of the most valuable contributions of today’s worldview, as it obliges the father to be more present and involved in matters of the home, making a success of his family and fulfilling himself as a person.
Translation by Virginia M. Forrester
