On Monday, May 10, 2021, Mexican Father Mario Arroyo Martinez shared with Exaudi’s readers his article, in Theology for Millennials, entitled “Single Mothers.”
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Mother’s Day is a particularly endearing family moment when we all want to celebrate our mother, backbone of the home. It is, moreover, a consumer feast, a “little Christmas,” according to some, when the economy is activated given the celebrations and gifts. However, that day, which passes swiftly, makes way for the rest of the year, where the deafening and emphatic message is heard that maternity is a burden, odious, and an obstacle to a woman’s personal fulfillment.
It’s not an exaggeration. In a University classroom, some years ago, I asked how many girls wanted to have children; slightly less than half answered affirmatively. Some wanted to marry but not have children, others wanted to have children without getting married, and only a third of the girls wanted to marry and have children. We are doing something wrong if we are not presenting maternity as a way of personal fulfillment. We are not succeeding in having something obvious seen: that the gift of giving life is exclusive to women and that it has in itself something wonderful, a genuine natural miracle which only happens in women, and which we must recognize,
Moreover, we spill much ink on unwanted pregnancies, or on the problem of single or adolescent mothers, as if one’s whole life is spoiled for being a single mother, and that eventual situation must be feared as if it were the devil himself. It’s true that adolescent pregnancy is not something to promote, it’s not the ideal situation. However, whether adolescent or adults, women have the wonderful capacity to give life, so they should be able to count on society’s full support and recognition.
Therefore, I think that single mothers deserve special mention and recognition always, but particularly on Mother’s Day. Why? They must be recognized because they’ve had at once the courage and wisdom to give life, when social and often family pressure pushes them to abortion. They deserve recognition for having said ‘no’ to abortion and ‘yes’ to life, although this implied for them endless difficulties. They’ve had the wisdom to recognize that life is wonderful and that it’s worthwhile to get around the problems, for having the privilege first to give life and then to channel it.
Society owes single mothers a great debt, as their situation is considered a negative reality when, on the contrary, it’s wonderful to give life, even when it’s not in ideal circumstances. There is much hypocrisy in that social misgiving, in that stigmatization. How many members of society are children of single mothers? Is not their life and contribution valuable? Single mothers must not be promoted, but they must be recognized. Why? They must be recognized because they are courageous, generous, and intelligent! Yes, intelligent, because they have realized that to give life is more valuable than to get rid of a problem.
There should be a media campaign to recognize mothers, regardless of their situation. It would also be interesting to organize public campaigns of support to single mothers and mothers with unwanted pregnancies. They should be encouraged to give life; they should be offered medical, psychological, and even economic support, so that they are not afraid and venture to be mothers. They should enjoy social recognition, especially when they have the easy possibility to abort. They should be recognized for having the courage to give life and be mothers in extraordinary situations.
Mother’s Day confronts us with a cultural battle: that of rediscovering women’s grandeur for having the gift to give life; to show how giving life is a legitimate, wonderful way to give meaning to one’s existence, to fulfill oneself. And, in this battle, there should be special recognition of single mothers, because in adverse situations they have overcome their fear and given life. They deserve public recognition and society’s support, as society owes them a lot because the children of single mothers that make it up are anything but few. I hope we will be willing to change the paradigm and recognize and appreciate maternity not only on one day but always.
