At this time of year, I enjoy giving myself the pleasure of reading “A Christmas Carol.” Let the ghost of the past confront me with my pending accounts, let the ghost of the present invite me to adjust the course of my life, and let the ghost of future Christmases make me reflect on what really matters. Because, in the end, the essential is simple and few things have true relevance.
This year, these ghosts have guided me to a place where what is important is lived daily: the Laguna Palliative Care Hospital, in Madrid (Spain). There, the perspective on life and death takes on an almost Dickensian tone.
We wanted a patient from Laguna to serve as inspiration for us, our own Jiminy Cricket from the past. But before we could record her testimony, she set out on her journey into eternity. Instead, we spoke with Maria, a young girl who has experienced the loss of her mother in the hospital. Despite her youth, Maria radiates a wisdom that any elderly person could envy.
‒ Maria, when someone is at the end of their road, about to leave, what is most important to them?
‒ Deep down, what all patients want is peace. Some find comfort in the hope of another life, while others, even if they are not believers, reevaluate their existence. But, regardless of their beliefs, what they really ask for is to be surrounded by those who love them. It is time to leave grudges behind, resolve unfinished business and embrace love, which in the end is the only true companion in crucial moments.
‒ How does one face the past in a palliative care hospital? Does it take a lot of courage?
‒ Rather than looking to the past, the question should be how to face the future from here. Because death will come to us all. In this place, the past is faced with courage, but also with gratitude and reconciliation. It is the time to give thanks, ask for forgiveness and close open cycles. Death ends a life, but not memories or relationships. If we keep people in our memory, talking about them and enjoying the moments we share, they never go away completely.
We also spoke with Elena Ruano, a dietician at the hospital.
‒ Elena, how can we take care of our loved ones this Christmas, as if it were the last? How do they do it in Laguna?
‒ Here, each dish is prepared with the care of someone who knows that it could be someone’s last meal. We think of each patient and add an extra dose of love and affection in the kitchen.
‒ What menu do you have planned for Christmas Eve dinner?
‒ We design menus full of meaning. Each recipe is inspired by the memories and tastes of the patients. As a neurogastronomist, my mission is to create dishes that not only nourish, but also evoke emotions and happy memories. If a patient has fond memories associated with a stew, for example, just reading the name of the dish is enough to awaken their appetite and bring a feeling of comfort.
África, a psychologist at the hospital, also shared her experience:
‒ África, is it possible to feel the Christmas spirit in a palliative care hospital?
‒ Yes, definitely. Although we do not force joy, here all emotions are valid: joy, sadness, fear, even anger. Many patients decorate their rooms in their own style, we sing Christmas carols and the atmosphere is filled with life. Christmas is felt in every corner.
‒ Do you think society understands what palliative care is?
‒ Not at all. Many people associate them with a dark and sad place, when in reality they are spaces of serenity and reconciliation. Here we not only care for patients, but also their families, offering peace and support in the most difficult moments.
Dying without pain
‒ Is it possible to die without pain today?
‒ Yes, and it is one of our priorities. From the medical field, we make sure that patients do not suffer physically. We also provide them with psychological support to face this process calmly, and we work with their families so that they can accompany them without external worries, resolving pending issues or necessary procedures.
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Dear readers, knowing more about palliative care allows us to make informed decisions about the future. If I were given the choice, I would like to spend my last days in a place like this, reconciling with my ghosts, enjoying the present with the warmth of a dish prepared with love and leaving in peace towards the eternal.
P.S. I dream that one day a film director will create a film that shows the world the beauty of a good death, which has nothing to do with euthanasia, and highlights the importance of palliative care in every corner of the planet. Merry Christmas!
