12 April, 2025

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Do I Know How to Exercise Authority Over My Children?

How to Maintain and Exercise Authority Effectively

Do I Know How to Exercise Authority Over My Children?

Authority is a recurring theme among parents, who often feel their children don’t obey them. Exercising authority isn’t just about giving orders but also educating and guiding children to become responsible and aware of their actions. Here are some tips for maintaining and exercising authority effectively:

  1. Understand the Concept of Authority: Authority is not synonymous with authoritarianism. It is the ability to guide and teach children to differentiate between right and wrong. Children, especially when young, trust their parents and naturally grant them authority.
  2. Set Clear and Concrete Rules: Define specific rules and make sure all family members understand them. Consistency is key; if you require something, make sure it is always followed.
  3. Avoid Repeating Orders Without Results: Constantly repeating the same instructions without results can erode your authority. Make sure orders are clear and that children understand the consequences of not following them.
  4. Foster an Environment of Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are essential. Children must feel they can trust their parents and that they will be treated with respect, even in situations of conflict.
  5. Be a Role Model: Parents must lead by example. If you demand order, respect, or honesty, be sure to practice it yourself. Children learn by observing their parents’ behavior.
  6. Recognize and Value Achievements: Rewarding and acknowledging children’s efforts and achievements reinforces their self-esteem and your authority. Don’t base education solely on rewards and punishments, but on the intrinsic value of doing the right thing.
  7. Remain Calm and Serene: Avoid correcting children in moments of anger or in front of others. Talk to them privately and calmly, explaining the reasons behind your decisions.
  8. Encourage Open Communication: Listen to your children and understand their points of view. Open and honest communication strengthens relationships and facilitates the exercise of authority.
  9. Recognize and Correct Your Own Mistakes: Parents make mistakes too. Recognizing and correcting your mistakes fosters an environment of learning and mutual respect.
  10. Be Consistent and Patient: Education is an ongoing process that requires patience and perseverance. Don’t expect immediate results; authority is built over time and daily effort.

Remember that exercising authority is not about imposing your will, but rather guiding your children to become responsible people who are aware of their actions. Authority well exercised is a powerful tool for the holistic development of children.

José María Contreras

José María Contreras es formador de directivos y asesor personal y familiar. Ha sido director de formación y desarrollo de GSK ha impartido más de 2000 talleres y conferencias. Tiene más de una quincena de libros escritos sobre Familia. Participa habitualmente en la radio y en prensa. Asesor familiar. Disponible en [email protected]