Emotional dependency can be defined as a chronic pattern of unmet emotional demands and needs that are desperately sought to be met in a maladaptive manner through interpersonal relationships.

The dependent person has a lack or void, an emotional wound, and therefore, without realizing it, demands affection, love, and appreciation.

How does it manifest?

• Intense fear of abandonment.
• Great vulnerability to rejection.
• Fear of no longer being loved or feeling less important.
• Life seems overwhelming; you believe you cannot cope alone.
• You believe you are incapable of taking care of yourself and that you need others to help you.
• You feel a constant struggle to fulfill daily responsibilities.
• You are insecure when making decisions and turn to various people for advice.
• You have a feeling that something is missing, that you are not capable.
• Feelings of despair and panic.
• You avoid tasks you think are too difficult for you, such as driving, managing financial matters, making decisions, taking on new responsibilities, and learning new areas of expertise.
• You often allow others to offend, subjugate, or belittle you to maintain the dependency; you would do anything to keep the person from leaving.

Recommendations

• Recognize your problem of emotional dependency.
• Learn to be assertive and say “NO.”
• Work on your self-esteem.
• Learn to be alone and spend time alone with yourself.
• Systematically force yourself to make decisions and complete tasks without asking for help. Start with the easy tasks first.
• Don’t constantly ask for advice and comfort.
• Take on new challenges and responsibilities.
• Seek help from a professional psychologist.

ANIMA Project

The ANIMA Project was born out of a need to provide support resources to all those who are experiencing difficult personal situations (mental, physical, but primarily spiritual). Through access to information, training, and methodologies (under the grace of God), these resources can GROW, MATURE, and REMAIN in the Christian life, toward spiritual maturity, “BE HOLY BECAUSE I AM HOLY” (permeating the body, soul, and psyche), utilizing the teachings of the truth revealed in the Word of God and the wisdom deposited in disciples who have followed her example and light.

Article: Prepared by Psychologist Mónica Caballero and disseminated by the ANIMA Project through its Catholic Psychologists Network page.

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