There is no doubt, that we all have positive and negative feelings; these being the sum of a specific emotion and a thought. In the following lines, I am going to discuss the misunderstandings that can occur in personal or work relationships and what we could do to reach a happy ending.
According to the OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, Anger is “a feeling of indignation that causes rage” and even an extreme desire for revenge. I share with you, briefly, two personal situations that I experienced a while ago.
Last year, my wife and I celebrated our silver wedding anniversary (an important event for our family), we had a liturgical celebration and then a small sharing with family and some close friends. But I was unpleasantly surprised to confirm that a very dear friend did not attend and, as time passed, he did not apologize.
A few weeks ago, at work, we were looking for the best purchase option for some curtains, I was supporting a collaborator in this, and I asked him for the measurements so that another supplier could give us an additional quote, he sent me an Excel file not only with the same, if it did not include the price already offered by the 1st supplier, I “discovered” this because this second supplier told me: you are already quoting with my competition.
I am going to list what I experienced.
- Anger – Rage – In both situations described, the first thing that came to my mind was this negative reaction.
- Offense – Bad Humor.- Victim plan in general, first situation, I am a good friend, why? Second situation, I thought: I have to review the smallest detail of everything.
- Immediate response.- first situation, I don’t care, and it doesn’t affect me, second situation, I call him on the phone and I even tell him “of what is he going to die in the future”
As time passes… I breathe, I reflect and…
In the first case, after several months, apart from not having a conversation about the episode that occurred, I decided to turn the page, a few days ago I was visiting his house and the truth is I had a great time (we shared and joked as before).
In the second case, I apologize to the employee for the outburst, we talk about what we have learned from both perspectives and I share a similar mistake that I made when I was a dependent worker.
The teaching about anger in both episodes is different: one as a victim and the other as a victimizer. The latter is always present and can emerge. Given this, let’s look for the antidote which is to always practice the virtue of patience (find and maintain our inner peace) through forgiving or asking for forgiveness from the heart, as the case may be, and not fall into the same mistake. And boy, I say this from my own experience, and it’s something I constantly struggle with.
Nobody said it was easy, however, as the saying goes… “The memory of the heart eliminates bad memories and magnifies the good ones, and thanks to that artifice, we manage to cope with the past.”
What do you say, we continue paddling against the current…?
