Recently, the book *Adolescence in God’s Key* was published, written by our collaborator Mar Dorrio. With her vast experience raising 12 children, Mar shares her knowledge about the crucial stage of adolescence. Through her own words, she tells us how the idea of this book came about and the advice she offers in its pages:
“In this book I have gathered everything that has helped me guide my children in their adolescence, recognizing that the only truly indispensable thing is the key to God.”
Renowned coach Victor Küppers highlights that educating a child to be a good person positively impacts all facets of his life: as a student, partner, athlete, brother, etc. However, if we add God to the equation, we ensure maximum happiness in the lives of our children. As mentioned in the book, “The closer our children are to God, the more time they spend on the street of joy.”
The role of education
In the book, I frequently quote the authors and educators who have influenced me the most, especially highlighting Fernando Alberca. On countless occasions, when facing the challenges of my children’s adolescence, I heard Fernando Alberca’s words in my mind: “Your adorable child is still there; what exasperates you are the complements of adolescence and its gestures.”
When, despite applying all of Alberca’s advice, it seems impossible to maintain communication with your child, trust. God does not ignore you: He has a plan, and everything that happens, including your children’s adolescence, is part of His plan.
God’s key also redefines our goals as parents, teaching us to value effort over success, imitating our Lord. In the book I compare the coins that the poor widow offered with school grades: there will be tens that will have no value in heaven, and low grades that will unleash heavenly applause, because in heaven the effort behind each action is measured.
We must educate with God’s criteria, which do not necessarily coincide with the standards of this society. God asks us to make our talents pay off, but his measure is the effort, not just the results.
Self-esteem
The book addresses two fundamental aspects to raise the self-esteem of adolescents. First, it is vital that they know themselves and carry out a sincere examination of conscience that brings them closer to God, evaluating not only their actions, but also the intentions behind them.
Secondly, we, as parents, must be that voice that reminds them that they are not going to invent any new sin, that all are already invented, and that the most important thing is that all have been forgiven. Your case will not be the exception.
Knowing your children in their entirety
It is essential that our children know that we know them and love them with their defects. They should not fall into the temptation of believing that their parents only love the idealized version that pretends to be a good son. How can their self-esteem develop if they grow up thinking that if their parents really knew them, they wouldn’t love them?
Following God’s key, we will educate our children in the unity of life, in the presence of God. This unity will prepare them to face both offline and online life, as well as the challenges that the future brings, including artificial intelligence. The instruction manual that God has left us in the ten commandments covers all educational doubts.
It will be in prayer, in the Holy Mass and in the Holy Rosary where we will find the solutions to our children’s concerns. The best version of their lives will be the one that develops “in God’s key.”
