Last week I was lucky enough to participate in a spiritual retreat course organized at an Opus Dei center for married people. There were about 25 of us, professionals from various companies, professors from schools and universities, and some retirees. I asked a psychology professor to give a brief presentation on the education of personal affectivity and children; and it was a great success because it allowed all of us present to approach with scientific rigor a reality that sometimes we know little about: our personality.
Some may question the orthodoxy of a presentation of psychology in a religious activity, so I will explain a point that may be new for many. Talking about the Christian or Catholic religion is very different from talking about another religion. The difference is abysmal because while all religions are a movement of man towards the Higher Being, the characteristic of Judeo-Christianity is to be a movement of the Higher Being towards man. But also, when Christianity was introduced to society – back in the 4th century of our era – it never did so on the side of religions; but rather, on the side of philosophy.
The great concern of Christianity has always been to know reality, for intelligence to reach the truth. Hence, Catholicism has never feared science. Authentic scientific knowledge – that which is not biased by a particular interest – converges in the same place where Catholic doctrine leads: the knowledge of reality – tangible and intangible – that surrounds us.
Returning to the exposition on the education of affectivity that I attended, there was an idea that I think can also be useful for many people, especially for those who have responsibility for others.
When discussing the maturity of the human person, the speaker commented: “maturity is the process by which the personal ‘I’ diminishes and the ‘you’ grows.” He added: “the child enters the world with a very large ‘I’; and therefore, the process of his personal maturity will be none other than to make that ‘I’ less present in his decisions, giving space to the ‘you’.”
In the workplace, we come across many ‘you’s: from the security guard, the cleaning person, colleagues, suppliers and clients. Faced with all of them, it is easy to consider what we could do to prioritize attention to the ‘you’. And in the family environment, the spectrum is also very large. There, maturity will most likely lead us to guess what other members of the family may need, before they ask us for it.
Finally, do not forget that as children, our ‘I’ has been very large; and that true growth lies in achieving the ability to put the ‘you’ before it.
