From the process of coming to forgive or ask for forgiveness, the best and worst of ourselves come out.
It is directly related to the arrogance and pride that prevent us from getting off the pedestal where we have placed ourselves, and intimately connected to the selfish self in which each individual lives. We must fight with all our strength so that humility and the generosity of forgiveness always emerge victorious in this combat.
The seed of humility and generosity, a gift from God that is lost if you do not exercise it, is drowned by the pain of the offense and many times, although we strive to forgive, we cannot. That is where the evil resentment that will intoxicate your heart begins to take shape because resentment is not an ugly word with which you define a certain bitterness, it is hatred, a serious illness of the soul that will deform your life.
God does not ask you to be best friends with the one who offended you how much or how many. He asks you to let the polluted and stagnant water run what poisons your being. He asks that, for your good, forgive and allow yourself to open the door to the pain that is suffocating your heart. Don’t wish anything bad on that person. May you pray that he finds the necessary light and understands that forgiveness is always something that comes from God. Whether you give it or receive it.
In the same way that resentment corrodes the heart of those who should forgive and do not do so, pride climbs steps in the soul of those who lack sufficient humility to ask for it.
Ask yourself if Jesus can forgive your sins, no matter how terrible they may have been… What prevents you from following his example? Why do you think that offense they have done to you does not deserve your forgiveness? Our Lord dying on the Cross, he left us a message that should penetrate the depths of your being:
“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23, 34)
Do you know what you are doing by denying forgiveness to someone? The consequences that this fact could have for the eternal life and salvation of your soul or those of the other person? Do you believe that your suffering is greater than that suffered by Jesus in Gethsemane when he contemplated with immense pain our fate if he did not sacrifice himself? Do you think you are more or better than God?
Start by getting off the pedestal where you have put yourself, of feeling like a victim, even if you have been one, and free yourself, allowing yourself to be comforted by who taught us what love is.
“… a broken and humiliated heart, you, O God, do not despise, Lord” (Psalms, 51, 19)
Thou, forgive with all your heart and let God judge the sin that has been committed. You are not here to judge anyone, you are here – in the test – to show God with your love that you deserve to return home and enjoy eternal Heaven next to him.
“For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t the publicans also do the same?” (Matthew 5-46)
As we advance in our life experience, things also tend to become more complicated. The “love” of your life can become your greatest enemy or a stranger. The dream job, in your worst nightmare, or the routine that kills you. The perfect family, in the greatest hell.
The humiliation, the loneliness caused and not wanted, the indifference of those who ignore you, the neglect of those who are supposed to take care of you, the arrogance of those who believe they are better than anyone, the incomprehension due to the sudden death of a loved one, the evil of society in which we live, abuses. The unexpected illness. Envy, jealousy. The crime. Inherited debts. The injustice endured. The heartbreak that torments. The accidents. The lie.
All that pain that we live with, that suffering that suffocates our lives, creates an invisible and amorphous mass that not only affects our social behavior. It sneaks into the depths of our being and breaks us inside.
The greatest difficulty is not in loving those who do not love us, because our Lord made us through and for love. We are predisposed to it and at some point – if we work at it – we will find a way to reconcile our selfish self with the needs of others. With charity.
The greatest challenge of all is to forgive and ask for forgiveness. We always run away from suffering, it terrifies us and that is why it costs us so much. The pain of humiliation to give or receive forgiveness drowns our ego and instead of understanding it as a personal victory against pride, we think that we have been defeated.
The “enemy” enjoys it, because it keeps you in anguish and does not allow you to free yourself. He puts it in your mind and you simply let yourself go, because the reward is not to suffer and leave things as they are. The feeling is that nothing changes in your life, but it is not true. Evil advances and you consent to it.
This Lent imposes (for your own good) the holy penance of forgiving all those who corrode your heart and asking for forgiveness from those who in conscience you believe you owe it.
I assure you that this Holy Week will be totally different. When you go to the sacrament of Confession on Holy Wednesday – recognizing yourself as a sinner – the Lord will embrace you and console you with all his heart for having done your homework well.
