In recent times, there has been much talk about the crisis of marriage and the increasing number of divorces. In addition, many people choose not to marry, which raises questions about the causes behind this situation. Reflecting on this topic is not an easy task, but here I share some ideas that could help us better understand this phenomenon. Although the following points have been called “marriage killers”, the goal is not to judge, but to invite deep and sincere reflection. Many couples have managed to overcome difficulties through forgiveness and mutual effort, but when one of the two chooses to give up saying “I have the right to be happy” at the expense of the other’s happiness, a big problem arises.
The 16 killers of marriage
- Laziness: This is one of the main enemies of marriage. Lack of energy, enthusiasm and willingness to work on the common project can extinguish the spark of love.
- Suspicion: Checking cell phones, wallets or messages generates distrust. This type of behavior, instead of strengthening the relationship, weakens it.
- Lack of trust: Without trust, the marriage falters. It is also important not to give reasons for this trust to be lost.
- Lack of mutual respect: Even in disagreements, respect must prevail. Without respect, love loses its foundation.
- Lack of forgiveness: The inability to forgive fuels bitterness and resentment, which poisons the relationship.
- Unnecessary arguments: Constantly arguing over trivial things wears down the relationship. It is better to focus on what builds and brings joy.
- Secrets: Transparency is essential in marriage. Hiding information or keeping secrets undermines mutual trust.
- Infidelity: Whether emotional, financial, psychological or physical, infidelity is one of the main causes of marriage breakdown.
- Poor communication: Small problems can grow into big conflicts if clear and open communication is not addressed.
- Lies: Dishonesty, no matter how small it may seem, creates distance between spouses.
- Prioritizing others over your spouse: Putting parents, friends, or other family members above the couple creates tension and affects harmony.
- Lack of adequate intimate relationships: Intimacy should not only be physical, but also spiritual and emotional, strengthening the bond between the two.
- Constant complaints: Although we all complain at some point, doing so on a regular basis erodes the relationship.
- Chatting too much outside of marriage: Talking more with outsiders than with your spouse can create emotional distance.
- Spending little time together: Lack of cohabitation weakens the connection and sense of belonging in the couple.
- Being too independent: Although independence is valuable, in marriage it is important that both feel needed and appreciated.
Marriage is a life project that requires effort, respect, and transparency. In a society that promotes independence and immediate pleasure, it is essential to remember that true love involves commitment and sacrifice. Let’s reflect on these points to build stronger and happier relationships.
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