Even though our hearts are in Valencia, we are also capable of looking back, of reliving in our memory that iconic song by Cecilia, “A bunch of violets.” Do you remember? The song tells the story of a woman who, every November 9, receives a bunch of violets without a card. She gets excited, imagining who this secret love will be. Meanwhile, her husband, somewhat reserved and serious, watches her in silence, smiling. He is the one who writes those anonymous verses to her; he is that secret love.
We live in a time when we can all suffer a little from the “bunch of violets syndrome”: we forget to value the people who are by our side, those life companions. Perhaps the best way to avoid this is to learn from the lesson that Gary Chapman left us in his book The Five Love Languages.
Chapman explains that each person has a particular, unique way of giving and receiving love, and that recognizing this can strengthen our relationships. Some people value time spent together, stopping the world for you. Others, however, express their love through acts of service, doing those tasks that we like the least, such as taking out the trash or getting the car serviced, small gestures that often go unnoticed, but that are full of affection. People who show their affection in this way are not usually highly valued. There are also those who find in gifts a way to express their enormous affection when they feel that words are not enough.
There are people who feel loved through words of affection: a loving message, praise or recognition makes them feel valued. For others, however, physical contact is essential; they need hugs, caresses and closeness to feel loved and show their own love.
How important it is to know ourselves, to know those we love and how they feel loved, to recognize when they offer us a silent verse in the form of acts of service, when they need to share a special moment, or when it is that silly day to buy a small gift. Let us not allow ourselves to suffer like the woman in Cecilia’s song; that on November 9th we do not suffer from the “bunch of violets syndrome.” Why not?
