Many fathers tell me that they feel like they spend the day scolding. On the other hand, some mothers tell me that they feel like they spend the day arguing with their husbands.
There are times in life when it seems that all communication at home is negative, it is tainted and we barely talk to each other to comment on how our day has gone, much less to say something nice.
With the little time that work leaves us – the rush with which we leave home every morning and the tiredness with which we arrive every afternoon – it is likely that there are times when it is difficult for us to know how to transmit a little calm.
The question is, do we have to be scolded for everything? Are there so many things to argue about?
Sometimes we demand too much from ourselves, and even more from those around us. But in reality, there are many things that we should overlook.
In particular, I’m thinking of accidents. I’m not referring to a child burning himself with the iron or to our spouse in a total disaster, but to those small everyday oversights:
The child who knocks over his glass on the table (I know it happens every day, I have four children)
And he also forgets his diary in class (I know you reminded him when you left it at the school door)
The empty plate inside the fridge.
The garage column, which seems to move. (Last week I received a message that said “If rubbing makes love, my wife is going to marry the garage column.”)
You have to see how men feel when their car is rubbed!
If it was an oversight, then the scolding is not justified. Rather, we must look for the causes of it happening so often. The first thing is to have his eyesight checked. If it is okay, then make sure that neuromotor development is adequate, and a memory test would not be a bad idea.
Of course, you have to take care of things! Of course, you have to pay attention! But with all the things there are to correct throughout the day, are we going to stick our noses out of the pot because of spilled milk? Come on!
The truth is that there are people who have a vocation as co-pilots. All day long, giving instructions and correcting those who do things differently than them:
– Which way are you going to your mother’s house?
– Why do you put the books in the drawer? Put them in your backpack now!
– Put the dishes in the dishwasher, from oldest to youngest! (That’s my obsession).
On one occasion, a father “boycotted” my proposal that his 10-year-old son make his bed in the morning because the room had to be aired at least 45 minutes.
And that is just one example, we all have our quirks.
Well, if you care so much, do it yourself! And leave the others alone, they have more important things to do.
I know that the glass thing happens every day, that the column is only found with her and that the keys and wallet on the hall table are only left by him.
So what? Thank goodness! So the mistakes are spread out in the family. I’m sure there is also someone who has never broken a plate, normal, they never pick up.
Yes, cars are scraped together, glasses are dropped and diaries are forgotten (and sometimes also the sweater, the coat and even a shoe), but honestly, acting like some people do is elevating inconveniences to the category of tragedies.
And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get angry, you’re not going to clap, but be understanding, direct your anger elsewhere and think about what you like so much and want so much from the person who made the mistake. And by the way, if you’re having trouble finding something pleasant to think about, it’s a sign that you need to do something that will make them happy.
