On August 26th, in our country, we celebrate Grandparents’ Day. Universal tributes value the figure and role of a social actor. The grandfather, papapa, nono… of these times, has better health and physical condition than those of yesteryear. The fathers of their grandchildren became fathers after thirty years of age; while – in their time – future spouses married early and became fathers around the age of 25. Another peculiarity is that the fathers of grandchildren have demanding schedules, goals, and workloads, so a new “grandparent” task has emerged: substitute fathers. As a result, we have healthy and strong grandparents, who relate to distrustful parents, apprehensive about the health and well-being of their children. In general, they are seen to be extremely preoccupied. In this case, pre is not just a prefix, it announces a state of tension or stress due to not fulfilling or attending to the needs of their children; therefore, they transfer, and unload those tasks – in many cases, also the responsibility – onto the grandparents. It is true, for hours, but with the guarantee that the love for their children is unconditional and free.
On the other hand, the figure of that grandfather – full-time – who has already completed his filial education, wants to vibrate with the growth and continuity of the family. With the maternity or paternity of his children is a dazzling and revealing experience. He was an exceptional witness – without pressure or educational agitations – of the graces, pranks, motor maturity, tastes, etc., witnessing and being amazed at how a bud (his grandson) opens up reveals his uniqueness as a person. Does the grandfather, in this century, have the tranquility, rest and silence to laugh and play with his grandson, without having to report to his children? Do you have the space and time to transmit the family memory, the cultural heritage, the history of your country and the respect and gratitude to the generations that preceded us? I have my doubts, because the excessive race for success and usefulness has imposed a rush on the care of children and the elderly.
The third dimension of the grandfather has to do with an essential condition prior to being a grandfather, which he never loses, I refer to his fatherhood or motherhood. The clatter of the years leaves notches on the face and marks on the body. The field of action is reduced because health flirts with its “no return”. Precisely, with this uncertain state of health, the role of the grandfather declines. It is time to activate the fourth commandment: Honor father and mother. In its twilight, life grants the possibility of experiencing care as an expression of love. Faced with the inability to be autonomous in living in a house, heteronomy comes to his aid. The weakness, finitude and lack of man can only be addressed by covering them with a blanket of tenderness and delicacy at home and by one’s own children. Happy Grandfather’s Day!
