It’s happened to all of us at some point: when we’re dating someone, doubts arise, and we wonder if that person is really “the one,” if it’s worth continuing to make an effort, or if, on the contrary, we’re wasting our own time and the other person’s time in a relationship with no future.

I am Father Ignacio Amorós, and in this article, I bring you five clear signs of a good Christian courtship that will help you discern if your relationship is built on authentic love… and a sixth sign that is the definitive one.

1. It brings out the best in you and makes you a better person.  Authentic love doesn’t leave you the same: it helps you grow in virtue, become more organized, take care of your physical and spiritual health, and live with more truth and humility. As a young woman in love recently told me, “My boyfriend makes me a better person.” She began exercising, leading a healthier life, becoming more humble, and no longer relying so heavily on the opinions of others. That’s a great sign: your relationship is lifting you up and not leading you to places you wouldn’t want to be.
2. It makes you better with others, especially your family and friends.  When someone truly loves you, it shows in how you treat your loved ones. A good relationship doesn’t isolate you or separate you from your family or friends; on the contrary, it helps you value them more and serve them better. I remember a mother who excitedly told me, “Since my son started dating this girl, he treats the women in the family better, he’s more helpful, he showers more often, and he dresses better.” A clear sign of a healthy relationship!
3. It gives you inner peace.  A good relationship brings serenity to the heart. It’s not about the absence of problems, but about that deep peace that is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Recently, while preparing a couple for their wedding, I asked them what had changed in their lives since they had been together. They both answered almost in unison: “We have found an inner peace like we have never experienced before.” When God is at the center, peace always accompanies.
4. It allows you to live in truth (without hiding or having to conceal yourselves). Authentic love doesn’t need to be hidden. Ask yourself: if your mother (or a wise and kind person who loves you) found out about this relationship as it truly is, what would she say? A healthy Christian relationship is lived openly, without secrets or lies. As St. Ignatius of Loyola said, the truth always sets you free.
5. It broadens your horizons and fills you with grand desires.  True love is magnanimous: it makes you dream big, opens up new hopes, and inspires you to pursue ambitious projects for your life and for others. I remember a boyfriend who told me before we got married: “Since I’ve been with her, I dare to dream of having a large family, starting the business I’ve always wanted, getting a master’s degree, getting in shape, and being more of a service to others.” Authentic love doesn’t confine you or diminish you; it makes you shine.

And the ultimate sign…  It draws you closer to God.  This is the golden key. A truly Christian relationship isn’t just about “behaving well” in matters of sexuality (although purity is essential, because it preserves love). We’re talking about something much greater: Does this person help me discover God’s infinite love? Do they draw me closer to Jesus as Savior? Do they make me love the Church, prayer, charity, and humility more? When two people truly love each other and put God at the center, they can only grow in everything else: praying together, going to Mass with joy, serving the poor, forgiving each other, living chastity meaningfully…

Mother Teresa of Calcutta told the beautiful story of a couple who, before their wedding, visited her in Calcutta and gave her all the money they had saved for their celebration: “We want our joy to reach your poor as well.” That is the great love to which we are called.

What did you think of these signs? Would you add anymore? Let me know in the comments so we can continue enriching our journey together with the teachings of Jesus.

And remember: God loves you… And He wants you to be immensely happy!